Fun with Bloodtests
by Ophelia Davis
Summary: After Dark was finally captured he found out after a bloodtest that he was the father of Rika Mousy. Join him in his journey through parent hood. DarkXRika H Rika Mousy From the author of Sleepover fun and Avenged Angels
1. Dud buttons

Author's note: I made this up this weekend and felt that it would make a good fan fiction. Hope you enjoy. Sorry for the lateness of my chapters in my story Sleepover fun but there have been times when I am unable to get on the computer or that I need it for homework anyway so I can only do that. Hope you accept my apologies and accept this story as a token of my gratitude to all you fans of Daisukebebop productions. Thanks again, Daisukebebop.

Disclaimer: I do not own DN Angel and Dark does NOT have a child in the manga OR Anime of DN Angel. I also do not own any programme or story in which these jokes may originate from.

Dark's P.O.V

That night I hopped from rooftop to rooftop of buildings as I headed towards the museum. The night was bright with moonshine and clear to welcome the stars. What the heck am I saying all of THIS rubbish for? I know Daisukebebop is just doing this to impress teachers of the English sort but why take out this punishment on me? Daisukebebop is SO going to get punished after this next author's note. Anyway, back to the story.

I love stealing. It's my job, duty and destiny to be the infamous phantom thief Dark who flies in on jet-black wings and it's who I am. But lately, deep inside I keep feeling unwhole and somehow empty. It was the same when I was in Daisuke's body (the ginger kid for those who don't know). It hadn't been like this inside the bodies of other tamers like Daiki (Daisuke's grandpa) for example. But after 40 years of exile to the artwork called the Black Wings I have felt like a big part of me has been missing. But there's no time to worry about that now. The public awaits and I have fan girls to impress

Leaving the museum with a crown on my head. I feel like a king. Now back to running across these damn rooftops. They can be so annoying sometimes especially when the gaps between each one is too big for even I to jump but if I keep to this level of ground then at least it will be harder for the police to catch me. It has always been hard to escape from the police whenever the Chief Commander of the police or 'Chief Creepy boy' I like to joke. But I have a feeling I'm going to dread this afterwards.

As I run across the rooftops I feel a change of pressure under my foot. Do you know the feeling you get under your foot when (God forbid) you step in something soft like dog poo? It was kind of like that except it was something hard and it made a beeping noise. Wait. Why is it doing that? Better check. I began checking for any 'disturbance in the force' as you geeks might say but it was vital to check. Well nothing suspicious. Phew. I'm going to laugh about this with the family tonight.

'I knew Creepy boy wouldn't be here tonight. As if he'd -.'

Suddenly a net pulled under me and yanked me up. I tried to escape but my body wouldn't allow me to due to the shock of the surprise. I can't believe how easily I'm being captured. Locks and cages are no problem for me but nets? A helicopter rose in front of me and the wind generated by the helicopter blades was threatening to tip me about. But there in the helicopter, facing me with a sly smile of satisfaction was none other than Creepy boy himself, Super kid genius. Who could it be? Well give around of applause for Satoshi Hiwatari. Insert slow sarcastic clap here Everything went blank after that like I'd had a sleep bomb thrown at me.

Feeling tired and groggy I came too. My eyesight was blurry for a second but it began to clear. I found myself in a police van with two policemen keeping guard. Lets call them Sergeant Bob and Sergeant Steve. Two? Surely I'm worth MORE than two guards. I found that my clothes stank of alcohol and my face and hair were dripping wet. Sniffing my clothes suspiciously I found that I had been sprayed with champagne. It was like Mexico all over again. (See Sleepover fun chapter 2). I had been handcuffed with my arms behind the chair back. I had chains wrapped around my body and around my arms. I also had my legs chained to a chair leg each. By the feel of the handcuffs they must be a really recent make. I won't be able to crack these open. Not YET anyway. The chains have been secured too tight making all arm mobility pretty buggered. Even if I did manage to escape Bob and Steve had guns so a shot to the head would slow me done for 10 minutes tops. (I can't die, be killed or age physically which means I get to stay looking the age of 17 and being about 400 in real life time. Cool huh?) I'd better not risk it.

'Why'd you spray me with bubbly?' I asked my captors.

'Thought it would be fun. It was a once in a lifetime chance and we just had to do it'. Steve said sarcastically. Policemen just don't know how to have fun. It's a well-known fact. Well in my mind anyway.

'Can I have some champagne?' Well if you're going to get caught for a crime you might as well commit another.

'Sorry. We're not allowed to give alcohol to prisoners.' How am I a prisoner when I've only just been caught?

'But if I'm drunk, how can I escape?' I can't escape anyway but I felt thirsty.

Bob and Steve thought about the idea for a brief moment. Wow. The police DO seem to get smarter. I was being sarcastic then for all you brain deads.

'Well…since it's you…why not.' Bob held the bottle for me while I drank. I drank down the smooth frothy liquid with relish. Yum. I quickly tugged the bottle out of his hand with my mouth by biting the bottleneck. I then threw the bottle towards Steve who was immediately knocked out cold.

'That was fun. Can I do that again?'

'Hell no!!!'

'Come on. Since it's me?' I gave Bob my cutest, irresistible face and waited for results. Bob could only just resist my face.

'NO!!!' Just as I thought. The man's gay.

'Well we're going to have to run a few blood tests now.'

'Why? I've not had a trial yet.'

'We need to check if you're on drugs, ill, mentally ill or if you have any children, which I hardly doubt.'

'And what's that supposed to mean?' I spat back. Why do they always question me like this. It's not fair. Just because I'm ultimate sex god to the stars (in my imagination) doesn't mean he has to judge me for it. I can't help it.

'Anyway I'm going to need your blood.' He said after putting on some sterilised gloves and as he prepared the syringe, which he had taken out of a draw. Taking it out of a packet he readied it for me. Damn. I hate injections in all shapes and sizes. They bloomin' hurt. Especially when the person giving it to you looks like the ROUGH type.

As he rolled up the sleeve of my left arm and rubbed the location of penetration with a cotton ball I quickly squeezed my eyes shut. As the needle prodded into my skin I felt a horrible sensation, which was painful. And so the screaming began.

'OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OOOWWW!!!' I started struggling but he carried on regardless. I must be pretty damn stupid because the struggling made it hurt even more. Finally, he withdrew the needle and as a result of the struggle I had a deep scratch from the needle. It bloody well hurt but he didn't care or give me a plaster.

After inserting the blood into a test tube he inserted it into a slot tray, which seemed to be connected to a computer. He switched on the computer and the magic of technology ensued.

'_Welcome to Blood test programme 11.0_.' spoke the computer.

' _Test subject: Dark Mousy. Age: 400. Birthday: Unknown. Blood type: AB Positive.'_

It was amazing that computers could actually do that.

Bob started the first test.

'_The HIV test has been selected. Result: Negative.' _

'Hey! What was that for?'

'Just in case you DO go to prison.' He wrote the result on a piece of paper.

'_The Illness test for mental and physical biology test selected. Results: None.'_

Again he wrote it down on a piece of paper. But what I found was that the next test would change my life.

'Off spring test selected. Results: one child. Congratulations.' 

Bob wrote it down on the piece of paper but I could he was surprised by the result. He was probably expecting MORE kids.

'I have a kid?'

'You didn't know?!' exclaimed Bob in yet more surprise.

'I…I want to see my child.'

'You WHAT?'

'I want to see my child! Is that too much to ask?' I don't know why I have a sudden urge to see it. My mouth seemed to take over my brain. On hearing the news my unwhole ness had been filled. To know that my son or daughter was walking around right this minute was too much to take.

'Besides. Aren't I allowed a final request before court?'

'I guess so.'

'Then I would like to see my child tomorrow.'

'But it would be too dangerous. I don't think it's a good idea for the child to be mixed up with someone like you.'

'Wouldn't you do the same in my shoes?'

'-sigh- OK but that's it. I'll even let you go tonight but on one condition.'

'What?'

'I have to escort you.'

'Fine.'

The journey back to the Niwa house was tiresome but I was allowed out of the van. As I walked towards the gate I asked, 'Can I keep the crown?'

'No!!!' He swiped it off me and off the van went.

I couldn't believe. It I was a dad.

Author's note: Well there you have it. Like it? Wups. The author's note has started. I'm in for some punishment. NNNOOOOO!!!! 'Come on Daisukebebop. Off to the bathroom we go'. Dark drags me to the bathroom by the foot for some SERIOUS punishment . What would Rika say? 'She's here?!' Dark drops my foot while he looks around confused and I make a run for it. See ya!

Daisukebebop.


	2. Orphanage

Author's note: I know that I haven't yet got any reviews from you because I have only just put chapter one on so there. Yes I did manage to escape the clutches of Dark when I told him about Rika Harada. This story is going to be kind of like the anime in the sense that Rika Harada is mentioned and somehow in existence. Hope you get SOME of the jokes planted into this chapter. You get to meet Dark's child also, which is very kawaii. Sorry but Dark IS right about me doing this to impress teachers because I unwittingly told my English teacher about fan fiction and he has now read Chapter two of Sleepover fun. Sorry guys. Hope this doesn't put you off fan fiction forever. He's only looking at my stories though so hope you enjoy.

Daisukebebop

Dark's P.O.V

It's sun, sun and sun this morning but all I can do is sleep, sleep and sleep in my breakfast. Just woke up to realise that now. I had only just managed to drag myself out of bed because I was and AM still very sleepy. I couldn't get much sleep last night because of the news from the Sergeant Bob. I'm a dad and there's nothing I can do about it. I can't just erase the child from history and if I leave it too late to visit the child then it will be harder for the child to forgive me.

Daisuke was eating his usual toast this morning with the usual apricot jam. Doesn't he eat anything else in the morning? He should eat egg and bacon instead. It's much softer to fall asleep in.

'What happened last night?' asked Daisuke. We don't share the same body anymore so it's always so annoying that he has to ask even if he's not interested anyway. He probably only does it to impress his mom, Emiko. She seems more interested in thieving than Daisuke or me. Oops. I sidetracked.

'I'm a dad.' Was all that I could mutter with my face out of the egg.

'OK. You're WHAT?'

'I'm a dad.' I said louder. I hate to repeat myself so next time he asks I may just shout in his ear.

'Since when did this happen?' Daisuke said in surprise. Well if he's not interested in the thieving part of last night then he might as well be interested in THAT part.

'I only just found out last night. After I was caught. I asked the policeman who had given me the blood test if I could visit it this morning and he said it was fine as long as he escorted me.'

'You got CAUGHT?' Shrieked Emiko.

The normal morning breakfast table was no longer peaceful but had now turned into a verbal battlefield.

'Yeah! I got tricked by a dud button.'

'I know I've had to tell Daisuke about those but YOU?'

'I know, I'm shocked myself. Sergeant Bob and Sergeant Steve were SO happy that while I was knocked out they drank Champagne and sprayed the foam all over me!'

'I thought they weren't allowed to drink alcohol on the job.' Daisuke pointed out.

'Well apparently I was worth it. I got my own back though. I knocked Steve out with the champagne bottle with my mouth.'

'If you're in custody then why are you still here?' Daisuke asked.

'I asked to see my kid so they let me go. They should be here soon.'

DING DONG

Nope, they're here now.

Emiko went off to get the door. I decided to watch the conversation from a corner before the door.

'Yes? How may I help you?' Emiko asked politely.

'We're here for Dark. Is he ready?' asked sergeant Bob. I saw Sergeant Steve next to him with a big bruise on his forehead. Score!!!

'OK. I'll just be a minute.' Emiko headed towards where I was and I quickly ran back in to the kitchen as if I hadn't heard a thing.

'Dark! Get ready now! They're here!'

'KK.' I gave her my two-finger salute and I was up the stairs. A second later (or close too a second) I was back down stairs fully dressed and showered looking primp and presentable. I wore my black leather shoes, my beige jeans and my red shirt with two buttons undone at the top to show off a bit of chest. Over the shirt I had on a black with white pinstriped jacket, which was unbuttoned. Around my neck I had a blackthorn necklace and a pair of sunglasses. I stood casually in front of the police in an "oh so innocent but watch your back kind of way".

'What are the sunglasses for?' Bob asked as if I was a really vain person.

'Fan girls.' I said simply and I walked passed Bob and Steve and stood casually next to the police car with my hands up. It was funny to watch but I was with the police so I did it for the show. Two girls who happened to walk past me looked and blushed. I gave them a nice smile and they swooned. I know I'm hot.

'You don't have to have your hands up you know.' Steve said as if annoyed by my natural reaction.

'I can't be too sure around you lot.' I said and stepped into the backseat of the police car like a true criminal. Well, you're not a criminal until you've sat in the back seat of a police car. In the police car there were bars up in front of the back seat.

'How's your head Steve.' I asked the policeman who was in the passenger seat.

'My name is not Steve! It's Kenneth.'

-At the orphanage-

'Well. This is the place.' Bob concluded.

'Looks a bit run done.' I commented.

'Hasn't had much repair done to it for 20 years.'

'Jeez. What a dump.' I said and I headed for the stairs and Sergeant Bob and Sergeant Kenneth.

Inside the orphanage some of the walls had painting peeling off and there were a few cracks in the walls as well. So much for first impressions. There were a few notice boards up on the walls. There had on them photos of the staff and children who lived here. Wow. Great selling point! Some of the kids looked OK but one caught my eye. She had purple hair that was short at the back with a long front. Like mine! Her purple eyes big with shyness yet they seemed to sparkle with confidence! She looked timid but bold at the same time. Her face also had a resemblance of Rika Harada's. I hope that's my kid but who can say. Bob and Kenneth were next to me when I stared at the picture of her.

'She looks cute.'

'Yeah but I don't like how she has purple hair. It's unnatural.'

'Reminds me of someone.' Said Kenneth absent minded. I knew he was talking about me. There were paintings on the other side of the room, which were obviously done by the kids. One was purple and looked like me! It had a name at the bottom.

'R-ik-a.' I tried to pronounce it but it was written badly. I hate bad handwriting. It's always so hard to read. It was a really good drawing of me.

'Bob! Kenneth! Do you think they got my best side?'

I went into the same pose as the painting and waited for a comment.

Kenneth gave off a little laugh but Bob looked MAD!

'Stop arsing around and come on!'

'Jeez! Sorry!'

We walked to the office at the end of the corridor. As I looked around I saw some kids staring at me from some stairs. They're probably hoping that I might foster them.

Random kid's P.O.V

'Jeez what a loser! Strutting around like he owns the place! Get him!'

Dark's P.O.V

What one kid said was incoherent to me but as he gave an evil sneer the other kids got out their ammo, which were eggs! Crap! They're preparing to fire!

As the ammo was thrown I quickly dived behind Kenneth and used him as a guard against the attack. When they momentarily ceased fire I quickly ran for the door of the office and ran in quickly shutting it behind me. I kept the door shut and the police were banging on the door to be let in. Oh well. Rather you then me.

'Yes? How may I help you?'

'Hang on a second.' When I heard the eggs stopping I let in the police and they were covered in eggs. The kids outside were laughing their heads off and so did I.

'You OK?' I asked between bouts of laughter.

'Does it look like we're OK?' Bob said in between his teeth.

I sat down at the desk in the middle seat with a policeman at each side of me.

'So. How may I help you?' Asked the woman. Before I could reply Bob did that for me.

'We've caught this man on charges of stealing. When we ran a blood test on him so that we could give him a check up we found that he had a child that is currently living or so we think. He insisted that he come see this child but I'm afraid we don't know who his child is.'

'And who is this man you speak of?' She asked more directing the question at me.'

'He is Mousy.' I said as I handed my hand to her for her to shake.

'Yes. I'm Miss Tano.'

'Ok.' And we shook hands.

'You believe you have a child in this orphanage. Is that correct?'

'It is.'

'Then we shall have to take some of your blood and enter it on to the database on our computer. After that we can find any DNA matches between you and the children.'

I gulped. Not ANOTHER blood test! But I'm going to have to. Miss Tano took out a syringe in its sterilized packet. She tore off the packet after putting on a pair of sterilised gloves. She took out a cotton ball and asked for me to roll up my sleeve.

'Do you want me to hold him down Miss? He put up a struggle last night.'

'No thank you. I'm very capable.'

As I rolled up the sleeve of my right arm, she rubbed the spot of penetration with a cotton ball and I quickly shut my eyes, fearing the worst.

I hardly felt anything then…

'All done.'

'What? That fast?'

'We only want a little bit of your blood, not the whole syringe.'

'Hang on. How is it that he hurt and you're really gentle?'

'It's just a woman's touch I guess. I not AS forceful.'

Is she coming on to me?

After feeding the blood into a test tube she inserted it into a slot tray and switched on her computer.

'_Welcome to blood test programme 11.0. Evaluating blood sample. Test subject: Dark Mousy. Age: 400. Birthday: unknown. Blood type: AB positive.'_

'Wait. Your 400 years old?' She was shocked at this.

'Yeah. OK. You caught me.' I slid off my sunglasses.

'I'm the Phantom thief Dark. Happy?'

'It explains a lot.'

'Oh?'

'How could you have a child here at the age of 17? Our entire children here are 14 years old and over now.'

'Oh.'

'Anyway. On with the first test.'

'_HIV test selected. HIV results: Negative.'_

'Why do you keep doing that?' I asked the woman in annoyance.

'We like to make sure that if you do have a relative in this orphanage that he or she does or doesn't have HIV. It's a safety procedure.'

'_Dark Mousy matches with database: one. Rika Mousy aged 14.' _

I couldn't believe my ears. A daughter! I should be passing out cigars! But where are they? Miss Tano passed me a sheet with Rika's information and picture on it.

'This is Rika Mousy. Her mother is Rika Harada who died when giving birth to her. We named her Rika because that was her mother's name and she looked so much like her when she was born. The mother was 16 years old at the time. Remember her?'

Of course I did. How could I forget Rika Harada? My only true love.

I nodded to show that I had heard the question.

'We put Mousy as her surname on her birth certificate because as Rika was dying her last words were, "Mousy…Mousy…Mousy" guessing that this was the fathers surname we named her Rika Mousy.'

Pretty clever I must say. I wouldn't have guessed that.

'For the first three years of her life she grew up in a nunnery before moving here at the age of three. She's been here since.'

Wow. Poor girl.

I looked at the picture on the sheet I had. The girl had purple hair and purple eyes. She DID look like Rika as well. Wait, I've seen this picture before. THIS is the picture in the corridor and the painting must have been done by her as well! God! I can be so retarded sometimes.

'Would you like to see her?'

'Yes. Very much.'

'OK. I'll send her in for you.'

A few minutes later and she walked in through the door. She DID have hair like me. Short at the back and long at the front. She looked just like Rika except she had my eyes and chin. She was wearing a loose jumper which had horizontal, thick, black and purple stripes. She wore a black leather skirt and black boots with a buckle design which went up the outside of the boots. She looked like she was Daisuke's height or possibly taller. She also wore makeup. She had on black eyeliner and mascara accompanied by a black tear line down the right side of her eye. She wore purple lipstick and light foundation. There's only one conclusion to this: she's a Goth… I'm so proud of her!

Rika's P.O.V

I can't believe it! Someone for me and he looks just like me! Is he a relation? Like an uncle or possibly… My… Dad? I don't know but he's really tall and has the same hair as me. He is a good-looking person at least. I have to give him credit for that. He looks just like the Phantom thief Dark but he can't be! He's never around in the day and he was last active last year. It can't be him. He looks surprised to see me but at the same time happy. He rose up from his seat, stood in front of me. I started to shake with nervousness. I'm like this around people I don't know because I don't know what they are like and what they will do. He knelt down in front of me so that he was my height. Holding out his hand he answered one of my secret questions.

'Hi Rika. I'm Mousy, your father.' He said this like it didn't matter to him. He's my father? I can't believe what I'm hearing! After all this time. He wasn't here when I needed him the most but why now? Mousy stood patiently and waited for my response. I couldn't take it anymore and down when the waterworks. I burst into tears.

'Woah. I'm sorry! Are you OK?' So he DID care. Otherwise he wouldn't be here.

'It's n-not your fault it's just that –sniff- you've come to –sniff- see me for the –sniff- first time in my –sniff- life.' I stifled. At least I managed to say something.

'Don't worry it's OK.' Mousy had managed to collect himself from panic and he just suddenly… hugged me. Why would he do that? After he's only seen me for a few minutes. Over his shoulder I noticed two policemen.

'Wait. What are you two policemen doing here?' One of them answered. He looked like a Bob so he shall be known as that.

'This man is in custody for stealing a piece of artwork last night.'

'You mean the crown?' I replied and Mousy let go of me and he looked guilty and shameful.

'Yes. The very same.' Bob said.

'But wasn't it the Phantom thief Dark who went after the crown last night?' There couldn't have been two people after the same crown? Unless Mousy WAS Dark but how could he have gotten caught so easily?

Mousy answered this question.

'Well…to be honest. I AM the Phantom thief Dark.' NO WAY. But how?

We just stared wide eyed into each others eyes.

'So how did you find out about me?' I finally asked.

'Well after I had been caught they ran a blood test on me to check if I was healthy or if I had children. That's when I found out I had a child. I then requested to see you and we started here to search for you because it seemed like the most obvious place to look because I didn't know what you looked like. Sorry am I rambling on?'

He asked.

'No it's fine.'

'So. Have you heard of me on the news?' It seemed like a random question to ask but I had to answer.

'Yes. My friends are a few of your many fan girls. They talk about you so much I can't escape the knowledge of you.'

We both laughed at this. At least it was something we agreed on. Fan girls WERE annoying.

'You two seem to be getting on really well.' Miss Tano finally said. She'd been silent for so long that I didn't know she was in the room.

'Tell you what. Since your getting along SO well I'll allow you two a day out in the market so that you can get to know each other better.'

Today? But Miss Tano normally doesn't let the child and the adult out of the orphanage together for another few weeks after they've first seen each other. Maybe it's because of Dark being a celebrity.

Dark too seemed surprised at the news but in a joyful way. He had a wide smile on his face.

'You will have to sign some paperwork before I let you two go off and since you're still under custody Dark I'm going to have to ask for the police to stay nearby. Is that OK with you two?' She directed the question at the policemen.

'Yes, that'll be fine.' Said the other policeman who looked like a Kenneth. That shall be his name.

'Now if you'll just sign here, here and here please.' She requested after handing a pen to Dark. He did so and we were free to go.

Author's note: Did you like the second chapter? It was fun right? We finally get to meet Dark's daughter Rika. Sorry if you were confused by the first chapter and how Dark got caught so easily. Wiz isn't mentioned in this story very much so Wiz wasn't his wings. Wiz isn't of vital


	3. Attack of the fan girls

Author's note: sorry again for the lateness of this chapter. Please don't kill me! I'll be your friend. Anyway, there may have been things you might not have understood so if you have problems then review or if you just want to say how good it is then review anyway. Either way, pleases R&R.

Disclaimer: I do not own DN Angel or any Torchwood jokes that may appear in this story.

Rika's POV

After leaving the orphanage, we strolled towards the market place. The policemen decided that since Dark was still in custody, that they would stay nearby in case trouble broke out. They weren't going to make them selves stick out but inconspicuous. It was hot today, with a perfect blue sky. It was great not having the police around making us look suspicious. At least they have the good sense to give us privacy.

'Dark?'

'Yes?'

'Am I allowed to call you dad when we're not in public?'

'Sure thing kiddo.'

Dark has really got the parenting thing going on well. He's taken to calling me lil' Rika or kiddo. It's funny but I don't think it's necessary to call him anything. We decided on the story that he's my big brother and I'm his little sister. I call him mousy so that I don't reveal his identity.

'Dad?'

'Yes?'

'What was mum like?' Dark was quiet. His smile had faded from his face and there was a deathly silence. All that could be heard was the tweeting and chirping of birds and a gentle breeze.

'Oh. Well, err…'

'I'm sorry if you find it hard to answer.'

'No it's ok. Really. She was beautiful, sensitive and a decent young lady. Nothing like me. Yet… we seemed to be drawn to each other.'

'Oh.' Was all I could say. He'd answered my question as if he really meant it. Like it was from his heart. The rest of the journey to the market place was silent. I wish I hadn't answered the question now. I hope it doesn't ruin the rest of the day.

Finally, we reached the market place. It was all of a sudden crowded with people. It would be easy to play hid and seek in this place just by standing in the crowd. Luckily, dark is pretty damn tall so it would be hard to lose him in a crowd. Coming up to a clothes shop, Dark decided on looking on the outdoor racks. Skimming through them he found his prize. A long, ankle-length, black leather jacket. I can see why he likes it but I hope he's not going to put that on now! He'll melt in the weather!

'How much is this?' Dark asked. This must be the first time he's paid for something because it was clearly labelled. The shop owner took the jacket off him to look at the label.

'This I'd say is 10,000 yen.' He replied.

'Can I try it on?' The shop owner nodded and Dark proceeded to take off his own pinstriped jacket.

'Hold this kiddo.'

'Sure thing Mousy.' I said and held the jacket. The shop owner decided on have a good laugh at this name so Dark tried his best to ignore it. As Dark slipped on the jacket appeared to only three-quarters of the way down. The owner looked at him in disbelief but Dark didn't mind at all.

Taking off the jacket he handed it back to pay for it.

'Can I have the label cutting off and can I have a bag for it as well?'

'Sure!' The shop owner hurried on with the job and after handing back the jacket and the bag, Dark took the jacket out, slipped it on and dropped the other jacket in the bag and carried on. He's casual yet graceful. I can see why the girls like him.

As we walked down the high way of the market, girls were taking nose-dives and some were burning red with jealousy at seeing me with a hot guy (not by MY opinion anyway).

Walking further on I found a make-up parlour. This gave me an idea.

'Come on dad! Let's do this!' Oops. Spoke too loud.

'There is no way in hell you are getting make-up on me!'

'Come on! If you do then I'll get my ears pierced.'

'But you WANT your eyes done but I don't want make-up. Isn't that a tad unfair?'

'Did I mention I don't like needles?'

Suddenly, a special bond between us had grown. Dark's smile grew big and we knew then…we both hated needles.

My chair was next to his so while I chose my new studs, Dark was picking out of a picture book what he wanted. When he had picked the 'emo look' we sat in our chairs.

Dark took off his sunglasses unwittingly and as the woman started piling on the pale foundation, a crowd was piling around him. Everyone seemed to like the chance of seeing a guy having make-up put on him and especially when the guy looked like the Phantom thief Dark.

Dark's POV

Why do crowds gather around me? I know I look good but I can't help it but even when I have make-up on? On went the eye shadow. I had to close my eyes and it was annoying having a hard a brush on your eyelids. It felt scratchy. With the eyeliner I had to keep my eyes wide open and I got poked in the eyes a few times. Also with the mascara, when she got out the brush she kept shouting, 'Blink! BLINK!' It got on my nerves terribly! The lipstick was fun. It was black and I had to shape my mouth like an 'O', rub them together and then stick my finger in my mouth and pull it out with my mouth closed. I had some black on my fingers, which was fun. Lastly, she drew a line coming from the middle of my left eye coming right down to my cheek with eyeliner. I can't believe my own daughter got me into this but I was glad she did. When I looked in the mirror I looked unrecognisable!

Checking up on Rika she had three purple studs going up her left ear. It looked great on her.

Rika's POV

OH! MY! GOSH! Dark looked like Marilyn Manson! As we walked around he kept giving chavs scary wide eyes. It scared the shit out of them and they ran away. Ha! Halloween just came early! It was funny to watch.

My phone rang and we had to stop.

'Hello? Please may I ask who's speaking?' I asked politely.

'_Hello Rika. This is Miss Tano. I'm just calling to see how you're doing. How is Dark?'_

'Oh, great. We've had a wonderful time! Dark brought this cool leather jacket and he went to an outside make-up parlour! Everyone in the street was watching him being turned into an emo!'

'_Oh. I'm glad you're having a good time.'_

'Yeah! Dark's fantastic!' Dark moved in closer to the phone.

'Oh and you're fantastic too Rika. Oh! Oh!' Dark was doing silly moans that obviously sounded realistic because Miss Tano didn't sound too impressed on the other end of the phone.

'_What's going on?'_

'Oh. Dark's acting like an idiot.'

'_Can I speak to him?'_

'Yeah sure.'

'Dark. For you.' I handed him the phone.

'Yello?'

'_IF YOU PUT ONE FINGER ON THAT GIRL, I SWEAR I'M GOING TO CHOP OFF YOUR GENITALLIER, SPEAR THEM ON A BUTCHERS KNIFE AND HANG THEM OUT SIDE THE ORPHANAGE FOR ALL TO SEE AND…!!!' _

Dark quickly pulled his ear away from the offending phone. Well you would too when a social worker is shouting so loud that everyone in the street could hear. Everyone stared at him while I tried to look away, embarrassed.

Dark quickly hung up before she could finish.

'So…?' I dared to ask him.

'It went fine.' And Dark handed the phone back to me.

Everything would have been fine if a Dark fan girl didn't shout, 'LOOK! IT'S DARK!'

Suddenly, everyone's eyes were on him and we had to make a break for it. We ran as fast as we could. Suddenly, the crowd was chasing us and we had to run as fast as we could.

'Ah, fuck it.' Dark picked me up in to a fireman's hold still running.

'Hold on tight.'

'What?'

Dark quickly jumped into the air shouted "With" and these black wings appeared out of no where and attached on to his back. Now we could fly to safety.

Finally, we landed on the balcony of a house.

'We're here.'

'Where is here?'

'My house.'

Author's note: How do you like? The joke with the phone is from Torchwood (First episode second series. The one with James Marsters in it). Hope you enjoyed that. Yes Dark got make-upped. If there's anything you don't understand then R and R. Thanks again loyal readers,

Daisukebebop.


	4. Truth from the past

Author's note: When I started writing this it was the same day that I put chapter 3 on Fan fiction. In my folder (where I write my fan fictions before typing them) it is really long so I wouldn't be surprised if this takes me a few weeks to write. Thanks again for your loyalty,

Daisukebebop.

Disclaimer: I don't own DN Angel. The only things I own are Rika Mousy, Miss Tano and other added characters NOT including Rika Harada.

Dark's POV

I led Rika down stairs into the living room. Towa was there in her maids outfit (hand picked by me) doing the cleaning.

Rika's POV

Is this the playboy mansion or something? There's a woman there in a weird maids outfit!

Dark's POV

'Hi Towa.'

'Hi Da-AHH!' She happened to turn around and look at my face. Crap! I still have make-up on!

'That's the second time I've seen a guy with make-up on! Is there no escape from this mad house?' She cried oh so dramatically and yet obviously fake.

'Calm down Towa. Anyway I'd like you to meet my daughter Rika.' I stood her in front of me and put my hands on her shoulders in such a fatherly manner.

'How-de-do. I'm Towa the family maid!' She exclaimed bowing low.

'Hi?' Rika said in obvious confusion.

'Oh she's so precious!'

'Where's Daisuke? I asked her.

'Oh. He's just in the kitchen but be careful he's studying with Riku.'

'Don't worry about it.'

'Who's Riku?' Rika asked.

'You'll see.' Was all I told her.

In the kitchen, Daisuke and Riku were at the table with tonnes of books piled high around them. As I walked in, Daisuke and Riku were in shock to see me wearing make-up and Rika with me.

'Who's this then Dark? One of your harlots no doubt.' Riku remarked disdainfully after looking up from a dictionary. Mental note: Steal the dictionary later and use all manner of insults against her.

'I am not a harlot!' Rika shouted in defence. This one's obviously smart because I haven't got a damn clue to what it means!

'She's my daughter.' Riku looked dead-panned. Ha! Shut her up!

'Y-your d-d-daughter?' Damn. But not for long.

'Yeah.'

'Who's the mother?' Riku asked calmly.

'You're awfully nosey.' I shot back.

'Jeez. I just wondered that's all!' Riku shot that back faster than a bullet.

'Rika Harada.' I whispered lovingly. I guess I'm still upset about losing her. I miss her so much.

'You mean my grandmother?' Riku shouted back. She WAS shocked.

'Her grandmother is my mum?' Now Rika was getting confused in the melee. She looked disgusted and upset. Please don't cry again!

'Look I'll explain later, OK?'

Rika nodded.

'Prove it then! Prove she's related to me!' Riku wanted proof. I thought quickly and I came up with the idea.

'OK then. Rika, stand next to Riku and look at me and Daisuke.' They did so and I asked Daisuke to decide if they did look the same.

Daisuke's POV

They look so alike! The resemblance is uncanny yet she has Dark's hair eyes and chin. It was a surprisingly beautiful combination. It was like seeing two Riku's.

'Well?' Dark asked indignantly and I fell back off my chair. I must have fainted because everything blanked out.

Dark's POV

'Is he OK?' Riku asked and she rushed to Daisuke's aid.

'Oh yeah. He's fine.'

'Do you want something to drink?' I turned to Rika.

'No thanks. Not until you explain yourself!'

'What? About the whole Rika Harada being Riku's grand mother thing?'

'Yes! And don't spare the details!' Rika looked mad as if she yearned for the information.

'Ok. I'll tell you in my room.'

Rika followed me into the living room and back up stairs. We went passed Daisuke's room and we turned into my room. I'll describe it for you. The room was painted a deep violet colour and I had a black carpet for flooring. My bed was a single one with no real design for covers but the pillow and cover colour was black. My sofa was a deep crimson red, which was up against the wall and next to it another door, which led in to the ensuite bathroom. I had a small bookcase next to my bed with not many books dotted around the shelves. I had a guitar propped up on its stand connected to a switched off amp next to a wardrobe.

'Please. Take a seat while I wash.' She did so and I quickly ran for the bathroom to wash off my make-up. At least then I would look serious and dignified enough to be story telling.

Afterwards, I sat down on the sofa and sank in it like Rika.

'Explain.'

'Ok.'

-40 years ago-

Another successful raid for the phantom thief Dark! I flew through the sky on my jet black wings welcoming the cool night air against my face. We, I and Daiki had just been to steal a crown containing some magical properties.

(A/N: Wow. This is the first time I've put Author's notes in the middle of my stories. Anyway, the crown they have stolen is the same one that Dark stole in the first chapter. The crown isn't anything special in this story but it seems weird that after Dark stole the crown he found out he had a daughter and after he stole the crown now… you'll find out soon enough.)

Flying over a mansion, on the balcony, stood the most beautiful girl. She appeared, at a glance, 16 years old or possibly 17.

(A/N: Rika is 16 when they both met and 17 when she had Rika. You'll understand later)

She had brown flowing hair and a lovely pink dress. She was beautiful, nothing like any other girl I've seen before and I couldn't tear myself away from her mage.

'_Shouldn't we be heading home?'_

'Hold on. I just want to see this.'

I flew lower and gracefully hovered in front of the girl. I got so close that I was holding on to the stone fencing of the balcony.

'AAAHHHH.' She screamed.

'Shhh… quiet! I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that.'

She stopped screaming, knowing that I had apologized.

'What's your name stranger?' I asked her.

'R-Rika Harada. And you're the -.'

'Phantom thief Dark! At your service.'

I stepped on to the balcony and I bowed down low. She giggled. My heart filled with joy to hear her voice. Such beauty.

'It's cold outside. Shouldn't you be inside? Away from peeping toms?' I warned

'Are you not such a man?' She asked boldly.

'But I come with love, not perversity.'

'That isn't a word.' She frowned.

(A/N: It is really but the word is ahead of it's time. This is the 1960's in this scene. Dark knew this too. It's his selling point. :D. You'll see why.)

'I know. My Japanese is terrible sometimes.' I admitted.

'Then may I teach you? Rika asked. She truly wasn't afraid of me.

'If that is what you wish then it shall be appreciated.' Again I bowed. Very honourable me. (A/N: That's his selling point. Talk bad grammar. If the girl asks to teach him then she's not shy. Then in this way he will have an excuse to come back to her house again.)

'I'm sorry but away I must flee. The police may still be on my trail.'

'On YOUR trail? They will be long gone!'

'Then I will fly in comfort of no danger.'

'Will I see you again?' She asked before I took off.

'You pledged to teach me so me you shall teach. I will be back tomorrow for your lessons.'

I had an idea. Taking the crown off my head, I placed it on hers.

'Now I will have to come back now won't I?'

'Dark. Don't come back for treasure but for me.' Her words hit me in the heart like a rogue arrow. She felt the same way about me surely.

'Oh, but Rika. You ARE my treasure.' I stepped closer and kissed her on the lips.

I gave her a graceful smile, stepped backwards on to the fencing, jumped off and flew off.

'_She sure was something huh Dark.' _

'She sure was Daiki.'

-Present-

'That's so cute!' cooed Rika.

'I know.' I smiled proudly.

'So did you learn from her?

'Oh yes. I hung on to every word. But as time went by it seemed we were doing more kissing then learning but by knowing that we loved each other we didn't find it a problem.'

'Oh how romantic. But it still doesn't explain how she can be my mum when she lived 40 years ago.'

'Oh yes. The day before I had to go back to the Blackwings, back to my world, I decided that since I didn't know when I was coming back , that I would make her immortal.'

'Really? How?'

'I did it by a kiss. I can make a kiss do anything I want it to as long as the partner agrees. Or in this case, Rika.'

'But why?'

'I didn't know when I was coming back so if I left her to age then when I did come back, because she would have aged, I feared she would not love me like she used to.'

'So how could she die then?'

'My power can make her immortal but because she is, in a way, still human, she could not die by natural causes.'

'Wait. What's the Blackwings?'

'The Blackwings is the artwork from where I came from. Along with my complete opposite, Krad. This happened just over 400 years ago.'

'Oh. Krad?'

'He's your uncle I suppose. He comes from the Hikari family. He may look good but he is in fact pure evil.'

Rika's eyes grew wider.

'Don't do anything he tells you to do! His purpose could only be for evil!'

'Anyway?'

'Right. 14 years ago.'

-14 years ago-

I can't see anything. Another day in the black world of the Black wings with an annoying Krad to keep me company. Not that he IS much company.

'Ow! You stepped on my foot!' I screamed.

'Sorry. I can't see a damn thing!' Krad called innocently.

'OW! Now that was on purpose!'

'Screw you!' And he socked me on the nose.

'Ha! You punch like a girl!'

'I do not!' He screamed madly.

I quickly kicked him really hard. I wasn't looking where I was kicking but I was sure I was aiming for his leg but I must have kicked him somewhere else.

'OW!' He squeaked in a very high-pitched voice. He fell forward and he was paralyzed.

Suddenly, a bright light emerged and it looked it was coming from… Towa!

(A/N: Towa is the family maid. The very same one that is doing what she is going to do now)

'How-de-do!' She chirped happily.

'You have to help me! I can't take another day in this place! I need freedom!' I begged while frantically shaking her.

'Ok Master dark. I grant you a day of freedom. To do whatever you please!' She said cheerfully and I walked through the light with her to the real world.

It was so bright outside. I chose freedom at the right time. In fact, I couldn't have chosen it at a better time.

'With!' I shouted for the rabbit and it appeared on command quickly transforming into wings to attach to my back. The first place I flew to be the Harada house. I landed on her balcony and waited patiently for her to come. When she walked on to the balcony, she couldn't believe her eyes. To see me finally after 26 years (do the maths) and she hadn't aged a bit. Later on, she told me that she hadn't dated any other boy since my disappearance to the Blackwings.

I spent the whole day with her. Movies, restaurant, walks in the park, it was truly magical. That night, with two hours to spare, I decided to leave her something to remember me by. Something she would never forget so that night we err…

-Present-

'I said don't spare the details!' She pushed me playfully.

'Ok. We made love. Happy?'

'Details.'

'THAT much detail?'

'Yep, this was the night I was conceived we're talking about. It's very important.'

'You sick twisted b…' I muttered under my breath

'Ok. I'll explain it to you with a song.'

Insert song by The Vengah boys. Up and Down 

I got off the sofa and moved my hips to the words of the song.

'_Up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down down down._

_Up and down, up and down, up and down and RELEASE.'_

Adding effort to this last word.

'EWWW! DARK! YOU ARE A PERVERT!!!'

She shouted in horror.

'Hey! You wanted detail so I gave you detail!'

'I'm glad mom didn't hear that!'

I got a sudden idea.

'I've got the greatest idea!'

'What is it?' She said jumping up from the sofa.

'It may sound crazy but…'

'Just say the bloody idea!'

'Let's bring back Rika!'

Author's note: Put your hands up if you liked that story! I certainly did. Anyway. I did say it would take a while to write this story and since my sister lost my memory stick I can't write the story at home as well. But I'm planning each chapter like mad on paper and I'm surprised with how much ideas spill from my brain. I'm already on chapter 9. I know all things that will happen and there is going to be a cross-over coming soon with another Mic Vignogna based anime. (Vic Mignogna really but pretend you didn't hear that.) Hope you're grateful for this and I hope it explains everything that you have found confusing so far. A word of warning. So far there has been no appearance of Satoshi in the planning so prepare Satoshi fan girls to be disappointed but I do hope you keep on reading anyway. It's a really good story I can tell you now and from my planning it's definitely looking to last much longer than 9 chapters. I've even come up with a song to go with it so maybe when the story is finished I'll send it you in? It's written in first person so try and guess who's singing it. I bet you will.

Thanks loyal fans,

Daisukebebop


	5. Back from the dead

Author's note: Now chapter 5. I have been asking round and doing loads of research to find out this word so I hope you're happy. I'm not too good with hospital words so I'm pleased I found that out. In the end a ICT teacher provided the answer. An ICT teacher of all things! I'm thankful the person told me anyway so be happy. Smile and people won't know what you're up to. No P.O.V this time.

Thanks loyal fans,

Daisukebebop! (That's me!)

_Last time: 'Up and down and RELEASE!'_

'_Let's bring Rika back!' _

-Now time-

'But how? That's crazy!' Rika protested.

She tried to stare dark down with defiance in her eyes. But her defiance could not outweigh dark's determination. He was already off the sofa and on his knees searching his book-case. (It's a surprise he has one!)

'What are doing?' In the day that she met him, she never found her father to be a "big reader type person".

'There's a book on here with the answer.' Dark replied keeping his eyes on his search. 'AHA! There it is!'

Pulling out the book he flicked to the proper page. 

'So what are you planning to do?' She asked in a calmer manner.

'We're going to bring her back… with Alchemy.'

Rika didn't know how to stop him achieving his goal. Rika could see the earnestness in him as he started drawing a strange circle on the floor with a piece of chalk.

'What is that?'

'A transmutation circle. Once I've done this we need the ingredients.'

'Ingredients? Number 1, why? And Number 2, why do you bother to know all this?'

'Ok. 1, they say alchemy was born in the kitchen and Alchemy works on the principle of equivalent exchange. This means that to get something, something of equal value must be lost. 2, my voice actor Mic Vignogna does the voice of Edward Elric and me. So since he had to learn this tuff in order to understand it to play Edward Elric, what's in his head is also in mine. I'm him and he's me. Wait, so, Ed's me and I'm Ed so… AAAHHHH! I'm part midget!' Rika just stood there and watched Dark have a war with him self. She made a mental note: dark is definitely going insane.

'Just where are we going to get the ingredients?'

'You forgot one thing darling daughter. I'm the phantom thief! I can steal anything I want from this sofa no problem!'

'Then why bother going out and getting it your self?' 

'For one thing… publicity.'

Taking the book off the floor, he sat on the sofa and taking out a Dark feather from his pocket, all the ingredients appeared in a large silver basin in front of him as he read the book, the feather flashing blue each time a new ingredient was being acquired. 

'That should be everything.'

Dark got up from the sofa and carefully placed the basin in the middle of the circle without smudging the chalk.

'What do we do now?' Rika asked.

'I thought you didn't want a part in this?'

'Suppose I DID want a part in this. What do we do next?'

'Well we need a soul.'

'Huh?'

'Hold out your hand.' Taking a knife from his pocket, he took hold of one of Rika's fingers and bled it. He held her hand over the basin and let a drop fall in it.

'What about you?'

'You're the closest thing too her. I'm not since I'm not related to her.'

Dark bent down to check the circle for smudges but Rika was still confused.

'I still don't understand.' She murmured.

'I know there are a lot of things you don't understand but just bare with me. OK?'

Rika gave a little nod and he kissed her on the forehead before hugging her. Tears started trickling down her cheek.

'It's OK. Save the tears for later, right?' Dark gave her a friendly smile and Rika pretended to cheer up and tried to choke back the tears. 

'Come on, before we back out.' Rika stood next to the circle with dark and they knelt down on the edge.

'OK, both hands on the circle…Now!'

Placing both hands in the circle there was a sudden surge of yellow energy. It circled around them and yet they seemed unafraid. Keeping there hands in position. 

Suddenly, the surge turned a deep purple colour. The light bulbs shattered and guitar strings broke in the melee. 

Dark saw in horror as his leg was being broken down by the Alchemic energy. But a piercing scream broke his horror and he watched as black tapes were grabbing for Rika. She screamed out in agony, crying out to be saved. Dark tried to grab for Rika but he couldn't. Tried as he might his arm wouldn't move and that's when he realised… it wasn't there. 

Trying with his left hand, he caught her by her jumper neck and yanked out of the hole of black tapes that had made its appearance in his wall. As soon as Rika touched back down to the ground, and everything stopped. The energy disappeared. As the adrenalin rush wore off, the pain had caught up with him and dark was screaming in agonising pain.

'Dad!' Rika screamed. 'Are you OK?'

'Do I look fine and dandy?' Dark screamed. He was panting heavily from the blood loss and pain.

'How's…you?' he whispered.

Rika hadn't checked how she was yet but looking down at herself she found she had lost her right hand. She screamed in surprise. She feebly showed it to Dark. 

'I'm s-sorry for…the trouble I caused.' He cried in his whisper. 'I d-didn't mean for this to…happen.' 

'C-check the…basin.' Dark whispered.

Rika Harada's POV (she's back baby!)

I opened my eyes slowly. The last thing I remembered was an afterlife full of peace and tranquillity and then my scream as I was being ripped away from those pearly gates. I found my self curled up in a basin and a girl staring at me in shock. Analysing her closely I saw she hadn't got a right hand. I couldn't believe the deformity. 

Stepping out of the basin, I found a man lying on the floor. Slower he sat up with his left hand and I found he too had deformed. He had lost an arm and a leg. When I saw his eyes I realised who the man was, 'Dark?' I spoke softly.

On hearing this he cried softly and silently but smiling all the same though the smile was distorted by his pain. 

'W-where am I? W-hat happened and why am I naked?' I had only just realised this and I grabbed for a dressing gown, which was hung on the bad post. 

'I b-brought you back.' He whispered and he suddenly collapsed. 

'Dark!' I screamed and I ran to help him even if he did look far from repair. 

'S-sorry I couldn't be here longer.' He whispered.

'This is our daughter, Rika.' He introduced and he closed his eyes silently. The two Rika's cried softly.

He sighed and he breathed no more. Little Rika cried in her mother's arms as Emiko, Daiki, Daisuke and Kosuke ran into the room to find an armless and legless, dead Dark, a 16 year old woman hugging a 14 year old who was handless and crying. Daisuke immediately called 911 on his phone.

Author's note: And I'm afraid that is the end of Fun with bloodtests. Sorry to disappoint. Scroll down for apologies.

Psyke! Just joking ya! Fun with bloodtests is far from over! In fact, it's only just begun! Now let us find out what happens to Dark! Shall we?

No POV

-5 minutes later-

Dark was in a ambulance. Doctors were surrounding him on all sides he had been hooked up to a monitor and by the sound of a continuous beep, he wasn't waking up. Orange pads were stuck to his chest as the doctors were trying to bring him out of arrest.

'OK, 400.' Cried one of the doctors and they pressed the defibrillators on his chest. But the couldn't wake him up. He was already pronounced dead on the scene. With all the might, the doctors still couldn't wake him. They gave up until…

'We can't give up!' cried the head doctor. That's when in panic, he squeezed Dark's nose together, pressed his mouth over Dark's and was giving him CPR. The doctor's watched in disgust at the head doctor's efforts. He tried also pushing his hand's against his chest to try and bring him back.

'Come on Dark! Breath dammit!' Again he tried the CPR until the patient jerked up in surprise and dark, holding himself up with his left arm, coughed blood on to his covers and collapsed. But, thankfully, still breathing.

'It's one of these days that I thank God I have this job.'

-At the hospital-

Dark's eyes slowly opened to bright light. 

'Am I dead?' He murmured. There was a doctor next to him. 

'Nope. But thanks to a doctor trained in CPR you were only dead for 5 minutes. When you woke up, you coughed blood and fainted. You're very lucky.'

'Is this a bad dream?' 

'What do you mean? You're not dreaming now.'

'Oh. So do I…' dark looked to find no arm was there.

(A/N: normally, when Dark dies, if he loses a limb he can grow it back and come back to life with no scratch on him. Kind of like Captain Jack from Torchwood ((Not in the sense that both jack and dark are bisexual but there you go)) but if the limb has been magically erased like say, by Alchemy then he can't do that such thing. He can come back to life but he won't have what he has lost if it has been taken by alchemy.) 

'AAAAHHHHH! MY ARM! IT'S GONE! MY ARM!' Dark's screams carried on like this.

'Oh dear. We're still in shock.' The doctor said in a surprisingly calm voice. 

'I guess this isn't the best time to tell him he hasn't got a left leg either.' Rika mousy said absent-mindedly.

The screams ceased.

'Huh?' using his left arm, he pulled back the covers to find no leg there either. 

'AAAAHHHHH! MY LEG! IT'S GONE! MY LEG!' Dark wailed. 

'Calm down!' Rika took control. I've lost a hand and I'M not crying about it.' Rika showed dark the missing limb.

'AAAAAAHHHHH! YOU'RE LIMBS GONE AND ITS ALL MY FAULT!' Dark wailed pitifully. All the patients were having a good stare.

The doctor ran to the side of the bed and pressed a button a few times and suddenly Dark cried no more. He was at peace.

'Hee hee. Look at all the happy people and here I am crying my eyes out over nothing.'

'Er.' Cut in Rika. 

'Now now. Let us sing. _A spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down. The medicine go down the medicine go down. A spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go down. In the most delightful way ---.' _

'Doctor? What was that button you pressed?' Rika Harada asked. 

'Oh. That was the morphine. Thought it would him calm down.' 

Both Rika's went silent. Still Dark carried on singing the song. 

'Erm. I need your details.' The doctor spoke up. Dark stopped his (nevertheless tuneful) singing.

'Like what?' Dark slurred still high on morphine. 

'Your name, age and date of birth.' 

'Oh OK. Dark Mousy, 401, 11th November, 1607.' He replied briskly.

(A/N: calculated from the year, 2008) 

The doctor choked on the reply. 

'Excuse me?' Now the DOCTOR was in shock. 

'You heard me right.'

'Oh I'll…write it down.' The doctor ran to write it down on a form. 

-Next day-

'Hey Rika?' Dark called after his Harada. She had slept in the chair next to him last night and so stayed. 

'Yes?' 

'Could you help me? My right arm's itching like crazy!'

'I can't you don't have an arm for me to scratch.' She said calmly but protested.

'Oh…yeah.' Dark went silent. The accident with the alchemy flooded back into his head. 

'Hey. Doctor?' His doctor scuttled up to the bed.

'Yes?'

'My right arm itches but it's obviously not there. How come?'

'Oh. You must be experiencing a condition known as "phantom limb". It's quite a mystery and we don't know how to stop it so I'm afraid you'll just have to sit this one out.'

'Damn.' The doctor scuttled off again and was left with an itchy, non-existent arm.

* * *

Author's note: you like. Yes, Dark's old girlfriend from episode 16 in the anime. I'm afraid Dark has lost his arm and leg. Kind of reminds you of someone doesn't it? Anyway if all has not been explained fully then please review the story or do that anyway if you feel the story deserves a round of applause. 

Thanks loyal fans, Daisukebebop.


	6. The cost of Automail

Author's note: It is now the Easter holidays

Author's note: It is now the Easter holidays! Well, almost. My last day at school is tomorrow so there. I am now planning CHAPTER 12 of this story so you can bet your sweet ass that this story will most likely be 20 CHAPTERS long. Now let's find out what happened to Dark before we wet ourselves with anticipation and impatient ness. Let's move on.

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. If I did then Edward would be gay.

The morning was quiet for once as Dark slept through the patient traumas of the ward. Quietly, Kosuke, Daisuke, Emiko and Daiki sneaked into the ward and sat down around Dark's bed. Emiko woke Rika Harada quietly and they both hugged each other in greeting.

'How's he doing?' Emiko whispered.

'He's much better now but they haven't done anything about his missing limbs. All the doctor has done is change his bandages from time to time and clean the wounds as he does it.'

'Oh, poor thing.' Emiko can be very sympathetic. 'And Rika?'

'She's taken it better than Dark has.'

'That's good.'

Suddenly, Dark stirred to find visitors.

'Hey guys! And gals!' he put in quickly, not meaning to miss Rika and Emiko out.

'How'd you feel?' Daisuke asked. Daisuke seemed to like dark more than the others (apart from Rika) because they used to share a body. Or rather he USED to like him better. Ever since Dark's return from Mexico he's been a general annoyance.

The doctor came in to check up on Dark and Rika.

'So how are you feeling Dark?'

'Legalas without an arm to shoot arrows with.'

(A/N: Legalas is the elf out of the Lord of the Rings who is very good at shooting arrows. Dark uses this name because it sounds like legless.)

'Good. Now the doctors and I have been in a meeting and we've decided it would be a good idea if weld metal plates over your limb wounds to stop infection. That way you Dark can live the rest of your life in a wheel chair and Rika can live with a carer. Sound fair?'

'Why don't you just stick a hook on me and change my name to captain. Does THAT sound fair?' Rika Mousy spat back. She had been listening from the next bed.

'None of it sounds fair you cheapskate!' Bellowed Dark. He wasn't having any of this. 'Give me a second opinion or I'll get someone to strangle you and weld your head up your ass!'

'Well, there are some auto-mail surgeons in town who can do you a good job.'

'Auto-mail?' Rika awed.

'Simply means metal limbs. They're the best. I can give the surgeons a call for you. If I do now then they should be here by tomorrow morning.'

'Great!' Dark took to the idea immediately.

'Although the procedure is extremely painful and extremely expensive.' The doctor warned.

'Painful eh? Sounds fine. Well do it!'

'But Rika does need parental permission.'

'She has it. I'm her parent.'

'Oh. Well. I'll leave you while the Auto-mail surgeons come tomorrow.'

-Meanwhile-

RRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG

'I'll get it!' Wrinry called as she grabbed a notepad on the way to the phone.

'Hello? Auto-mail service. How may I help you? Yes. Yes. Oh good. Really? Fine. I'll do it. What are the measurements? Aha. Aha. Aha. Great. Tomorrow morning? No, it's not a problem. We'll have them done. 9.00 am sounds fine. Thanks. Bye!'

Wrinry hung up the phone.

'Pinoko. We have a job at the hospital.'

Wrinry ran into the lounge to greet Pinoko with the news.

'When for?' She asked, smoking her pipe.

'Tomorrow morning I'm afraid.'

'What? Couldn't you change it?'

'Nope. The arrangements have been made for then.'

Suddenly, a boy cam running through the door. Blond hair flowing in his eyes. Edward Elric. He was an auto-mail patient and a state alchemist. He had come to get away from the madness of East city and so decided to live with Wrinry for a while. His brother Alphonse had made the decision to stay away from Edward after finding out… about SOMETHING!! Al thought it best to let Ed have his space.

'What is it?' Ed asked. Breathless from being chased by a massive Labrador on the verge of squishing him. Luckily, the abrader was locked out.

'We've got a new patient. A boy of 17 and a girl of 14. The boy lost his right arm and left leg and the girl lost her right hand.'

'Really? How?' Ed asked with great interest.

'Apparently Human Transmutation. Like you.'

'WHAT?' Ed was angry to find that someone dared to do the forbidden. 'Did it work?'

'Yes'

'No way! Never worked for me!'

'They still paid the ultimate price!'

'That's not the point! They did something against nature and I for one am not going to let it rest!'

'Why? Because the human Transmutation you did years ago failed?' Wrinry shot back.

'No!' Ed shot defensively.

'You miss her. Don't you?' Wrinry worded calmly but she held a look of melancholy.

Ed gasped. He tried to shake her words.

'Well I'm going to that hospital no matter what!' Ed shouted.

'Well help us with the auto-mail you dolt!'

Wrinry shouted and she ran tog grad the box full of pieces and tools. Ed ran into the kitchen with her to make the auto-mail at quick speed.

-At the hospital-

'Erm. Me, Daisuke and Daiki are going to the café to get something. Do you want anything?' Kosuke asked Emiko.

'No thanks. You Dark?'

'Yes please! They'll come around with the breakfast menu soon and I want to fill up before then!'

(A/N: It's a fact that about 9 out of 10 people hate the breakfast menu in hospitals. Owing to their bad food. Note: Don't eat the toast!)

'What do you want?' Kosuke asked.

'Anything edible!'

'Err… Anything in particular?'

'Erm…not fussed. Surprise me.'

'I'll stay with Dark then.' Emiko said cheerily and the guys left leaving Emiko, Rika and Dark in the ward.

'Emiko?' Dark asked.

'Yes Dark?'

'Could you do something for me?'

'Anything Dark.'

'Ok. I need you to go home and sell all the artwork back to their museums.'

'WHAT? WHY?'

'I need money for the auto-mail.'

'But what about the artwork?'

'Don't worry. I've been looking for a father daughter activity.'

Tears fell delicately from Emiko's eyes and she smiled to show care.

'Ok. I'll do it.'

'Thanks Emiko. I owe you one.'

Emiko walked out of the ward crying silently and she headed for the nearest lift.

'Are you sure it's the right thing do?' Harada asked hugging Dark gently.

'Don't worry. I'm doing it for you and our daughter. Once we leave this place we'll foster Rika, buy a house and we'll live off the money until I can get a job. Ok?'

'Ok.' Rika also started crying and they kissed passionately before hugging each other again.

It was a big decision for dark to sell all that he had worked for but he wanted to set things straight for the family. He will have to grow up sometime soon or risk losing loved ones for his own selfish ends. That included most of all his girlfriend and daughter.

Author's note: Do you like? Anyway, it has been decided that the story will last until chapter 12 or 13 and then I may add then a song fiction or newspaper report (written of course by Takeshi Saehara) to tie things up. After that there should be a sequel to Fun with Bloodtests. I'll tell you the title later on when it has been decided.


	7. Be careful who you operate on

Author's note: Hi loyal fans

Author's note: Hi loyal fans. This is now chapter 7 of Fun with Blood tests! Yay! Whoop! Anyway, sorry that I haven't been updating on other stories so I have decided that I am going to finish completing this story first and then I am going to start finishing the others. I have brilliant news as well! I am also going to be planning a sequel to this story, which will be on another slot. I've probably already told this but I'm so proud of this story and love how it's panned out so I'm finishing this then will finish Sleepover fun. What happens to Dark on that one? You will find out. But not on this story. You may also notice that some of the language used is similar to Shakespeare. That's because I watched the DVD in English called much ado about nothing. That's because I watched that around the same time I planned this chapter.

The operation was going to take place the afternoon of suggesting the operation but I decided on the next morning because I wanted to give Emiko time to sell the artwork! D

Last time:

We have just met the Full metal Alchemist obviously known as Edward Elric. We have met Wrinry and Pinako. (Sorry if you don't like the spelling but I'm not sure how else to spell it.) Just a hint of things to come. Ed is more important to the story line then you may think at the moment. I know Alphonse isn't involved but like Wiz he just isn't important to the storyline.

Disclaimer: If I owned Fullmetal alchemist and DN Angel Edward would be gay and Dark would be Captain Jack reincarnation! D

Now. Let's get this show on the road!

- 9.00am -

The family were back again the next morning after hearing yesterday of the operations for Dark and Rika (M). After Emiko had shakily and secretly given Dark the money (which was equivalent to 6 million. Shakily because she hated parting with the artwork) they waited silently for the Auto mail surgeons. Dark and Rika were admittedly nervous but they were also relieved to get a chance at living a normal life. A life with oestrogen. (Another word for limbs in case you didn't know).

That was when a small blond (e) haired boy in a red clothes jacket, black leather trousers plus black (elevator) boots and wearing white gloves stomped into the ward angrily and stood in the middle of the ward. Arms folded in a secret attempt to commit murder to the person who used human transmutation. Behind him a taller woman (taller being the operative word) stood. She had long blonde hair tied behind with a large grip except for two pieces of hair at the front. Her clothes consisted of green 3quarter trousers and a brown jacket with a white blouse underneath the jacket. She also wore browns sandals.

Following behind her was a much shorter woman (Shorter than the boy) of old age wearing glasses, a blue dress with a white apron tied on over it.

The boy clapped his hands and out of his right hand shot a metal blade. His glove was reduced to ribbons to show a metal hand under the blade. People in the ward quietly but frightened lied on the floor with hands on there heads while patients with the incapability of getting out of bed hid under their quilts like terrified kits.

'OK! Who used human transmutation?' No one spoke but Daisuke had secretly noticed that his sounded very similar to Dark's only it was higher pitched. Dark had also noticed this but was afraid to speak up.

'If you know thy honour then it is I.' Dark put down his quilt to show only one arm in existence. He put it up in a form of surrender. 'You must be the Auto mail surgeons. Took you a while to get here. Did you have to slam dunk your bus fare?' Dark put in.

'Shut up!' The boy screamed. 'You're so purple you look like a dildo!'

'I guess a dildo and me have a lot in common. We're both purple and a big size!'

'That's it you're flippin' dead!'

'Edward! Please!' Wrinry quickly restrained him before he could do anything stupid and or dangerous. 'Don't you think they've gone through enough?' Wrinry reasoned.

Ed was quiet and decided that retracting his blade would be the best idea. He did so to show his submission.

'OK.' She let him go.

'So did it work? The human transmutation?' Edward asked earnestly.

'Here she is.' He pointed to Rika Harada with his left hand.

'How come she's not a treachery?' Ed asked looking closely at her.

'I guess they ran out of homunculus.' Dark suggested.

'Homunculi you dolt!' Edward shot back.

'Fine, fine. Do you have the limbs?'

Wrinry collapsed two brief cases on to Dark's table and opened them up to show an arm and a leg in one case and a hand in a much smaller one.

'Wow!' Dark breathed in awe.

'We're going to have to attach them to you by your nerves, which I'm sure you've heard is painful.'

'Yep!' Dark chirped.

'Ok. When there's a free operating room we're going to wheel you in. Oh. One quick note: We tend not to use anaesthetic, which is why I've told you the operation is painful.'

The doctor walked into the ward.

'There's a room free if you want to start now.'

'Yes. Fine thanks.' Wrinry called.

'Right, We'll start on you first Dark. Sound good?'

'I guess.' Dark said nervously.

'Don't worry Dark. You're in safe hands.'

'I believe YOU! It's HIM I'm afraid of.'

'Oh don't let Edward bother you. He's a kid at heart. He's been through the same as you so you two should have a lot in common.' She spoke cheerfully giving reassurance to anyone who heard the voice.

Two nurses came in with a spare bed and after carefully lifting Dark onto the bed they wheeled him out of the ward and down to the operating room with the three (or rather two not including Edward) surgeons following close behind.

- In the operating room -

After connecting Dark up to a drip and a heart monitor, she pulled on her gloves, and protective mouth wear. Pinako did the same while Ed just wore the mouth wear for safety.

'You know Wrinry. This guy looks like a struggler. Can I strap him down?'

'-Sigh- if you must.' Wrinry secretly hoped that Ed's shenanigans wouldn't get in the way of the operation. Ed proceeded to transmute a metal strap over Dark's lower stomach and handcuffed his left hand to the bedpost.

'Oo! Kinky!' Dark was getting excited.

'Calm down wills Yay? This is for safety measures only. Nothing personal.' Ed warned.

'I'll start with attaching the leg first.' Wrinry announced.

'How come?' Dark wondered.

'Because many years of experience has taught me that if you attach the arm first

And then the leg, you do find you are in danger of strangulation by a metal limb because the pain is too great for the patient.'

'I see. You won't get that from me though. I'm a GOOD widdle boy! He announced childishly.

'OK, Dark. I'm going to start by attaching the wires to the nerves in your legs. OK?'

'Hey. You're the boss.'

'Ok…now.'

Wrinry set off to work. She would usually expect screaming by now but Dark was unusually silent but for the exception of heavier breathing. Ed noticed this too.

'Are you OK?' Ed asked

'Mmmmm yeah.' Dark moaned between breaths. This seemed suspicious to Ed. VERY SUSPICIOUS! Ed couldn't help noticing that as Wrinry progressed with the work, light moans were creeping from the mouth of the violet-haired boy. This was seriously scaring Edward now for Dark did not wear the face of pure agonising pain but instead agonising pleasure.

'OK. Attaching to your more sensitive nerves.' Edward thought back to how this went on with him. He was spewing violent verbal abuse at every corner and he was shaking so hard with the pain that he almost fell off the bed! But Dark's reactions at this stage were very different to that of Edward's years ago.

'OK. Connecting…now.'

'AAAHHH!' came Dark's louder moan of pleasure that made him rigid.

Wrinry couldn't believe her ears and neither could Pinako or Edward. Wrinry tried to ignore this reaction but words of 'Oh yes', 'Oh god' and 'don't stop' never failed to exist either.

As Wrinry finished attaching the last nerves to the last pieces of wiring, Dark let out a gasp and a violent shudder.

Wrinry couldn't take it anymore.

'OK Dark! What was THAT all about?' Wrinry was ferociously angry that she had to hear all of the moans that Dark could muster in his throat.

'I forgot to mention this but…I'm a masochist.' Dark admitted but he was surprisingly not embarrassed by his earlier actions. Wrinry stepped back in horror. Edward's face screwed up in attempt to block mental images while Pinako's face remained as illusive and unreadable as ever.

'Oh gross!' Ed bellowed. 'And did you just…' Ed was referring to the violent shudder. Dark just nodded in indication of an answer.

'That's it! I'm not cleaning that up!' Edward backed away from the thought of having to clean away whatever Dark had had the misfortune (not in Dark's point of view anyway) to produce.

'Is there anything else we should know?' Pinako worded calmly.

'Well…I'm also bisexual.'

'That is too much information!' Wrinry screamed.

'I think I'm going to be sick!' Ed clasped his mouth but before managing to escape from the room he wretched against a wall, throwing up in the process. Using alchemy, he cleaned the floor and his own clothes.

Ed recovered quickly from his leaning position against the wall and managed the walk back to the bedside.

'So. Ahem. If you ARE bisexual then who's your favourite girl?' Ed asked snidely.

'My girlfriend, Rika.'

'Ok. That's obvious.' 'Ok.' Ed continued. 'You greedy git. Who's your favourite boy then?' A smirk sprouted on the blonds face.

(A/N: Just so you know, just before Edward was sick he threw off his mouth wear. There are actually male nurses.)

'Well I have seen some nice looking nurses-.' Ed's smile began to wane. 'But seriously though… probably you.' Ed's smile was now that of a heart-warming grin. Without a seconds warning, Edward bent his head down and connected his lips with Dark's. The kiss was held for a few passionate seconds before Dark jerked his head back suddenly to break the hold.

'What the hell do you think you're doing?'

'What do you mean?' Ed couldn't see anything wrong in what he was doing.

'I've got a girlfriend! Why the hell did you just kiss me?'

'W-well, I j-just-.' Ed stuttered.

'Are you gay or something?' Dark stared at Edward madly. Edward blushed.

'W-well, m-maybe I-.'

'A simple yes or no will do.' Dark will cut in.

'OK. Yes. I am. In fact. Gay.' Ed finally muttered.

'Really?' Dark shouted.

'I thought you liked Wrinry or Noa.'

(A/N: Dark means Noa from the first and second episode of Fullmetal Alchemist. The woman with pink hair at the front.)

'Who's Noa?' Wrinry glared.

'N-no one. Anyway, I thought you'd have liked that ginger boy.' Ed questioned.

'Daisuke? He's a putz.'

'Oh. I see.'

'There. All done.' Wrinry called.

'What do you mean all done?' Dark asked.

'Your arm. All connected and everything.'

'Really? I didn't feel a thing.'

'Thanks a lot, Ed. You distracted him for me. I couldn't have put up with all that again.' Wrinry sighed in exhaustion.

'Sure, no problem.'

'Oh, Edward? When did you find out you was gay?' Dark asked in curiosity.

'I don't know. I guess it was when I had to have a bath with my brother Alphonse when we were small-.'

'Was that yesterday?' Dark cut in.

'WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MOUSY LITTLE PIP-SQUEAK?'

'Anyway-.' Edward continued. 'The water was low and there was only enough water for two baths.'

'Oh?' Dark was VERY interested.

'I saw EVERYTHING!' Edward boasted.

'I envy you.' Dark smiled jealously.

'BOYS!' Wrinry's frustration got the better of her. 'Calm down. Anyway Dark, we're going to wheel you back to the ward and we'll then try you out in front of your family. Sound fun?'

'Just about.' Dark answered.

'Ok. Come on Ed you Fullmetal homo.' Wrinry called playfully as she wheeled Dark out of the operating room.

'DON'T BE HOMOPHOBIC!!' Ed screamed.

-Back in the ward. Dark is now in bed-

'How are you feeling Dark?' Rika cooed.

'Bloody brilliant hun.' Referring to his satisfactory session, which included Wrinry handiwork. Rika kissed Dark.

'Oo. Your lips taste different.' She pointed out.

'Oh. Do they?' Dark acted as if he hadn't a clue of where it had come from. Even though his lips now tasted of pineapple (courtesy of Edward ((lemsip is nickname (((a small tablet that is yellow on the top and red on the bottom. Also a cure for colds, which is Edward the lemsip's Alchemy.))) )) )

'Try out your limbs Dark.' Wrinry was inpatient with the wonder if it had worked out.

Steadily, Dark slipped out of his bed and stood on the floor but almost falling back wards from trying to regain balance.

'Wow they look great!' Rika hugged Dark.

'What are you waiting for?' Wrinry shouted in impatience.

'OK.' Dark warned for people to stand back and started doing the robot. Using metal limbs to his advantages. Walking around stiffly (like a robot pretty much) and fooling around.

'Wow! They're brilliant!' Dark congratulated Wrinry.

'Of course they are! I'm the best around!'

'They DO look good.' Edward said making his move towards Dark and they both shook hands. Doing this caused a strange clanking sound.

'Ok. That's weird. Is that going to happen every time I shake hands with someone?'

'Nope.' Ed took off his right glove to show a metal hand like Dark's.

'Whoa! Same mechanic?' Dark asked.

'You bet!'

'Wow!'

'Ahem. Rika Mousy. We're ready to take you to the operating room.' Wrinry interrupted.

'Dad. I'm a little nervous.' Rika said.

'Don't worry. You'll be fine.' Dark reassured her,

'O-Ok.' Rika whispered. Edward was confused of how Rika just called Dark "Dad".

Rika was then whisked off to the operating room.

5 minutes later, noise was audible from down the hall.

'AH GOD! HELL YES!!'

Dark, Edward, Rika and the rest of the family were shocked by the screams of Rika Mousy.

'She must get that from you.' Ed pointed out.

Everyone stared at Edward with a silent wish for understanding. Only dark knew what he meant.

'EDWARD! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE! I NEED YOUR HELP!' Called Wrinry

'I'M COMING!' Edward bellowed and he was out of there.

The next day, Dark and Rika were admitted out of hospital where Rika was taken back to the orphanage. Dark and Rika stayed in his bedroom at the Niwa's house with Dark of course sleeping on the sofa because the metal was too cold for Rika.

"I'll be lucky if I ever get to see Rika again." Dark thought to himself and he fell to sleep crying. He was as depressed as ever. It was his fault that his daughter had lost her hand and he wouldn't let himself forget it.

Author's note: WOW! That was a chapter and a half wasn't it? It's actually 8 pages long on Microsoft word. What do you think? Anyway, It's my birthday tomorrow so this is my present from me to you. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review as fast you can and want! I'm looking forward to them. Fun with Bloodtests is now well on the way to completion. We're over half way done in fact. WOOO. But I don't mean it in a bad way. I enjoy writing these chapters all for the fun and entertainment of doing it. I love comedy stuff. It's my favourite thing. Next to DN Angel, Fullmetal Alchemist and Avenged Sevenfold. Thanks for reading loyal fans.

Daisukebebop


	8. House hunting with the Mousy's

The crime

Author's note: Hi dudes. Sorry for the big space between chapters. I've been busy with other fan fiction stories plus I've got a music exam so time has been a bit of a bummer. Anyways, hope you're looking forward to this one!

Daisukebebop

Dark walked quietly over to Rika's bed. Waking her gently with a kiss to her cheek.

'Morning Rika.' He whispered.

'Morning.' She whispered drowsily.

'Come on. We're going house hunting.'

'Oh yeah. Ok.' She slipped out of her bed and made for the bathroom. Dark slipped on clothes consisting of leather trousers and a shirt. She stepped out of the bathroom having showered. She was wearing a white dressing gown.

'Dark? Are you sure you want the social worker to see your arm?'

'I just want her to know that I have suffered as much as Rika.'

'You didn't REALLY suffer. You were crying out in ecstasy.'

'You heard that?'

'Yep. Everyone did but we didn't want to say anything.' Her voice keeping calm and consistent.

'Oh, well. Thanks.' He kissed her on the cheek.

'Ow!' She squealed.

'What is it?' Dark asked urgently.

'The metal's cold. Make sure you heat it up.'

'I'll put on some leather gloves. Happy?'

'-Sigh- Fine.'

'Ok.'

Downstairs, Emiko had news to share.

'Dark. The police just called. You're no longer in custody.' She squealed cheerfully.

'Cool. Why?'

'When they heard you lost an arm and a leg, they decided that you wouldn't be able to steal again.'

'Ha. I have a surprise for them. They'll be really pissed off to see me on TV again.' Dark snorted with laughter.

'How are you getting used to your metal arm and leg?' Daisuke asked. He was always one to be nice.

'Fine. I've got used to walking down cold. I'm just getting used to arm movements.'

After being put out his usual breakfast, he picked up his fork with his right hand and carefully picked up a fried egg. He carefully tried to put it in his mouth but his arm jerked causing the egg to splat in his face.

'Bugger!' Everyone laughed and dark ran upstairs to wash. Seconds later, he was clean.

'Ok. Skip breakfast. I'll be fine. You ready Rika?'

'Yep I'm coming.'

'How are you getting there?' Emiko called from the door.

'We're walking there.'

'Are you sure?'

'Of course! We'll be fine.' Dark called from the gate.

-The market-

They finally reached the market and as they walked through everyone stared warily at Dark's metal arm. Babies were crying from the sight of the metallic abnormality called dark's right arm.

-At the orphanage-

Dark walked down the same hallway with Rika at his side. He quietly escorted her down rows of pictures, showing her the pictures that Rika (M) drew. Looking at the stairs at the end of the hall, he saw the same kids who had pelted him with eggs on his last visit.

'Watch this.' He whispered to Rika.

Taking off his glove he said, 'Hey Rika. Why don't we give these kids an anal probing while we're here.'

The kids quickly ran up the stairs.

'Ahem.' called Miss Tano for her office door.

'Oh hi there. It's been a while.' Dark held out his hand to be shaken.

'Er. Yes. Who's this.' She obviously didn't know Rika (H).

'Oh. This is Rika's mother, Rika Harada.' He introduced.

'Erm sorry but I thought she died years ago.'

'Oh. Me and Rika brought her back to life with alchemy.'

'Which is why your daughter came back with a metal hand?'

'And why I have a metal arm and leg.' He lifted his trouser leg to show it to her.

'I see and you didn't have these before?'

(A/N: Yo dudes! Sorry for again for not updating but the reason she asks in this bit if he had a metal arm and leg before is because in the 2nd chapter he was wearing a jacket so she wouldn't have noticed the metal if he had it anyway and not noticed the leg either. Hope you're still enjoying!)

'Nope.'

'And you're here why?'

'Rika and I were going house hunting and we came here to pick up Rika. We wanted her to come along with us.'

'We're are you living now?'

'My family's house.' Dark answered simply

'I see. And what makes you so sure she will want to see you?'

'Just let me go and fetch her.'

'-Sigh- Fine. Go.'

Dark stomped up the stairs in large amounts of enthusiasm.

'Hey kids! Get in line for your anal examination!' He yelled.

'Oh god!' Miss Tano sighed.

Stepping along the top floor, he looked along carefully at the door signs until he came to Rika's room. Her door was painted a pitch black and on the door it marked: 'Rika's room. Keep out!'

'Must be hers.' He thought to himself.

Silently peering round the door, he saw a boy. Black hair, pale complexion and a lip ring. He wore mostly leather except for an Avenged sevenfold vest and a black and white bandana tied around his neck like a western varmint from the times of cowboys. The problem was he was on top of someone. Rika. Making out.

Dark carefully knocked on the door. Feeling a rush of concern for his daughter being practically eaten alive by a guy he hadn't even been introduced to. Well, it didn't help that he was an emo either. He suddenly realised that these were the usual emotions felt by a worrying and most likely embarrassing father.

'I'm sure I vowed to my self once not to be an embarrassing dad. Damn me.' He thought to himself with annoyance.

'Hello?' The pair quickly jumped off each other.

'Oh. Is this a bad time?' Dark obviously knew it WAS a bad time but asking was a form of politeness and annoying for the second party.

'Oh. Erm. No.' the boy quickly said.

'Later, ok? She whispered and the boy ran off.

'Who's he?' Dark was hoping it wasn't some complete stranger to Rika so at least she couldn't be accused of a mindless slut who would shag anything that moved. Like he.

'Oh. Boyfriend.'

'You charmer you.' He poked fondly.

'Da-ad.' She moaned annoyed.

'What are you doing here anyway? I thought Miss Tano said you wouldn't come back after that.'

'I'm your dad. I have rights too you know. Anyway, we're going house hunting.'

'Why?'

'Well, it's getting cluttered with me and Rika in the Niwa house and we're going to need room after we adopt you.'

'Really? When?' Excitement filled her voice.

'After a house, we'll march right up to Miss tano and ask to adopt you.'

'But you're my dad. You don't need to adopt me.'

'Yeah but you still live here and I'm going to need to adopt you after the accident.'

'Oh.'

'How's the hand?'

'Fine. Got used to it. Work's like a dream.'

'I saw.' Dark laughed.

'Oh. Yeah.'

'Come on. Let's get downstairs before Miss Tano eats your mum alive.'

Down stairs, there wasn't any need to worry since Miss Tano and Rika were talking about, well…stuff.

'We're here.' Dark said.

'Ah yes. Are you sure you want to go with your mum and dad?'

'Of course I do.' Rika took hold of her mother's hand.

'Fine. Get going you three before all the best houses go.' She smiled fakely. Trying to make an effort to look like a happy care worker even though she was obviously the opposite.

-Estate agents-

The three were seated at a desk with a pesky estate agents clicking away on his computer.

'Now you're here to buy a house. Am I right?' The man at the desk asked (let's call him Jim) 'Any recommendations?'

'Well, we'd like three bedrooms please.' Rika (H) put in.

'Lots of room. Garden would be nice.' Dark suggested.

'Balcony would be great.' Their daughter piped up. Dark and Rika eyed her strangely.

'What? I just like 'em is all.'

'Now. I have pictures of a few houses you might like.' Getting out three laminated cards, he put them on the table in front of the family.

'Now this one has three bedrooms. But the house is pretty small. Not a lot of room though.' He slid the picture in front of Dark and Rika to look at.

'Now this one is very nice. It has three bedrooms, a balcony but no garden. It is very spacious though. It has two floors.' He again slid the picture over to Dark and Rika.

'Lastly, this house has four bedrooms, a balcony and a garden. The garden is a little overgrown but it shouldn't be too much trouble to fix. Lots of room and it also comes with a soundproof garage. Now if you think that it is too much then just say and I'll have a look for another house.'

'Oh no! That looks fine! Will we be able to at the houses now?' dark protested.

'Of course!' He chirruped.

Walking out of the agency with the agent in front Dark and the two Rika's followed.

'Which house sounds good to you?' Dark asked.

'House 3 looks very nice. Why do you think she asked for a balcony?'

'I told her about the night we met.'

'On the balcony?'

'Aha.'

'I see.'

'Now I thought I'd take you to house three first.' Jim spoke.

Walking through the gate they came to a house. It was big indeed and it had a balcony. The top floor had French windows but the picture was spoilt by an overgrown garden. With it's long grass and weeds. Next to the house was a garage. Plastered white with a black roof like the house.

'You weren't joking when you said it was overgrown.' Dark commented.

'Yes. But nothing a bit of gardening won't fix. There IS a garden around the back. That too is overgrown but it can be fixed.'

'I bloody hope so.' Dark muttered.

In the house, the walls were a chalky white with dark wooden floor boarding. To their left was the living room and to their right was a big kitchen leading on to the dining room.

'Again sir you are a man of your word. Very spacious.' Dark smiled.

'It's very beautiful. I can definitely see myself living here.' Rika (M) chirped.

Dark and Rika again looked at Rika.

'What? That's what they always say on "A place in the sun"!'

'You watch that show?' Dark began.

'Yeah. So?'

'Only old fogeys watch that show!'

'You're old enough to be one!'

'Shut up!' Dark broke down and cried.

'I'm going to my room! Wherever it is.' Dark ran up the stairs.

'Dark! Don't be childish!' Harada ran up after him followed by Rika and the estate agent.

On the top floor they waited for the estate agent to catch up.

'Right no to your left is the master bedroom.' They stepped in and there was a double bed, a dresser and a door leading to the bathroom and another to a dressing room.

'Wow! I sleep here?' Dark awed.

'If that's what you want then yes.'

'I'm liking the bed!' Dark immediately went over to the bed to lay down on it's cushiony surface.

'It's soft and comfortable. Definitely springy.'

'Ahem. Now, going to the children's room.'

Rika brightened up and walked into a room on the right from the stairs.

'Now this one is smaller but a good enough size.'

'Wow!' Rika stood in awe at the room. Again it had a dressing room and another door leading to the en suite bathroom. It also contained a single bed, a cupboard and a desk and mirror. 'It's brilliant! I love it!'

'Yes. This room comes with a balcony which leads onto a lovely view of the town.'

'It's amazing!'

Dark and Rika watched in hope knowing that this was probably the house for them.

'The other two rooms are much the same but this is the only one with a balcony.'

'Aha.' Dark noted.

'Now if you would like to follow me to the garage.'

The garage had a small side door and as they stood inside the dust collecting building they found a surprise. Inside, on stands, were guitars a plenty. Ranging from electric to acoustic to bass. Most came with fully functioning amps. And in the garage also was a set of drums. With it's own chair and box of drumsticks at the side.

Dark and lil' Rika stood in awe of the place. A place of music and with the garage being soundproof they could make as much noise as they wanted.

'The last owner never got round to moving them and when he died it was written in his will that the guitars remained in the house and for them not to be moved from the premises. We wish then that if you DO intend to buy the property that you do not sell them off or throw them away.

'Fine by me!' Dark laughed.

'Now the house including the garage costs 750,000 dollars. I know it sounds costly but I'm sure you'll agree with me when I tell you it's worth it.'

'I absolutely agree.' Rika smiled politely.

'So. Is this the house for you?'

'Do you think so Rika?' Dark asked her.

'Of course!' They both exclaimed.

'Well then. That settles it… Do you want cash up front?'

'If it's not too much trouble.' Jim rubbed his hands together in anticipation of the subject including "the money."

'Not at all!' Taking his money out of his pocket, he counted it for the right amount.

'And that should be all of it.'

'Of course. Just sign these forms for legal rights to the house and I'll hand you the keys.'

Resting the forms on the wall, Dark and Harada signed the forms with no hesitation and handed them back.

'Ok. Keep this copy and here are the keys!'

'Thank you!' Dark was excited. Finally, he had a new house for his family. Now they had somewhere to live together. The agent sauntered out of the house happily. I mean, you would be too if YOU had thousands of dollars in your pocket!

As Dark stepped out of the house he realised something.

'Rika. We're right across the street from the Harada's mansion!'

'You mean-.'

'Yep. Your granddaughters.'

'Wow. You know them?'

'Yep. Riku has short hair and doesn't like me very much and me and Risa used to date once but it didn't last very long.'

'Oh. Do Harada's ALWAYS take your fancy then?'

'Only because of you.'

'Oh Dark.' They locked together for a kiss and their daughter made kissing noises

'Let's go and say hi.' Dark said and the trio walked over the road to the Harada's house. Ringing the doorbell nervously, a butler opened the door to them.

'Hello?'

'We've just this second moved in so we just came over to say howdy!' Dark chirped. Holding out a hand.

'And who might you be?' The butler questioned further.

'We're the Mousys. I'm Dark. This is my "wife" Rika and my daughter Rika.'

'Pleased to meet you! Would you like to come in?'

'Are you sure?' Harada tried her best to be polite.

'Of course! It's my pleasure.'

Dark immediately wiped his feet on the mat and the two girls felt compelled to do the same. Taking off their shoes they stepped in the house and the butler invited them to sit on the sofa.

'You have such a lovely home!' Harada put in.

'Yes. Well I do try my best to keep it clean for the twins.'

'Twins?' Dark said, "pretending" he didn't know.

'Oh yes. While their parents are over seas I look after them. They are Riku and Risa. Such lovely girls. I'll introduce them to you when they come down stairs.'

Lil' Rika stood up and proceeded to browse through the photos that were arranged on the fireplace.

'Who's this?' Rika pointed at a small picture framed with silver engraved frame

'Ah yes. This is their grandmother Rika Harada. The twins are so much like her you know. Especially Risa. They have the same familiarity in their faces. When they I came to work here I was told that around the time of the Phantom thief Dark, She never aged from the age of 16 for 26 years! Then they say that she finally died in childbirth. She never said who the father was but her last words were "Mousy. Mousy."'

The three listened in awe as if this was new to them.

'I've heard that they called the daughter Rika Mousy after the mother and her last words.'

Suddenly, a look of realisation grew on his face.

'Do you happen to know anything about this?' The butler questioned. Dark could feel his heart pounding. He was nervous because the butler had guessed.

'You must do. Your last names are Mousy; the mother called Rika and so is the daughter. You proclaim you are called "Dark" of all things and you…' Pointing to lil' Rika. 'Are called Rika Mousy. Am I right? And you…' Turning to the other Rika. 'And you didn't say what your last name was. You can't be married because you're not wearing a ring. What is it then?'

Rika gulped. 'H-harada.'

'So…' He held it up to her face. He dropped it realising that the woman sitting before him was actually the woman missing from time for 14 years. Rika Harada.

The butler fainted without warning but Dark caught him in time.

-10 mins later-

'Are you OK? ' Dark asked holding a flannel on his head.

The butler stirred awake into consciousness.

'Yes. Thank you. Do forgive me for my rudeness back there.'

'Don't worry about it.' Dark put in.

'So you must be the Phantom thief Dark. Words of your legend never fade away.'

Dark smiled out of flattery.

'So you're the reason Rika never aged for 26 years.'

'Yes. We were in love. . I didn't know when I'd come back once I was gone and I was afraid that Rika wouldn't love me the same way before if she aged.'

'Yes. A common fear in love and yet you, a veteran of the matter fell into it's trap.'

'You know what age does to you.' Dark commented.

'Yes. You must be 400 years old?'

'401. Actually.'

'But I thought Rika died.'

'I brought her back to life. With alchemy.'

'I guess it explains the metal limb.'

'Limbs. I have a metal leg.'

'Oh. You must truly love her to risk a lot. Even your own life.'

'Of course. I'd risk another arm and leg. If that's what it takes.'

'Then never let her go.'

Dark smiled but secretly tears were welling in his eyes.

'Deary me is that the time? I'd better get tea ready.'

'Oh. I was just wondering since I was here if I could maybe collect some of my stuff that I've left behind?' Rika Harada asked.

'Of course. Feel free.'

'Thank you.'

Rika politely excused herself to wander the attic. Dark and lil' Rika were close behind. For the rest of the day the three scavenged the attic with no guilty feeling in their minds knowing they had brought the butler's respect by simple truth. Surprisingly, Riku and Risa never heard them come in, search through or go out so Dark, Rika and their granddaughter left the house with possessions in arms.

That night, Rika was adopted and allowed to move in with her mother and father. The packing was easy since Dark transported her belongings to the new house using a dark feather.

Today was truly an important day. The day they got a house, told the truth, adopted Rika and began their lives in happiness. The rest of the week was spent re-decorating the house. Gardeners were paid to come and fix the garden until everything was perfect. Yes, it was the start of something magical. Now to get a job!

-Estate Agents-

Jim was ready to pack away all his papers until he came across the forms of the house he had sold just a few days ago. Browsing through it carefully he came across the signature.

Phantom thief Dark

'What? I sold a house to the Phantom thief Dark?' He couldn't believe it. He couldn't take it in.

Author's note: How's that? It's really long I know but it's ages since I had updated on this story so this should keep you busy. I hope you're not confused by how I've typed this up. Don't worry if you thought the last chapter was the last you would see of Edward Elric and Winry Rockbell. They WILL be back but be patient please. See you later! Please R and R. I'm not getting much reviews.

Daisukebebop


	9. Finding a job

The crime

Author's note: Sorry for not updating for a while. I've been busy with another fan fiction but I'm going to give that one a rest and try and finish this one. We're over half way done. Hope you like!

Daisukebebop

The glorious weekend had finally arrived. But it was last night that was even more glorious. It was Dark and Rika's way of celebrating and after 14 years of practising celibacy then it had to be done. They both had needs and as long as Rika (M) didn't here then all would be well.

That morning they had woken up satisfied and refreshed. Dark and Rika trudged down stairs to the breakfast table late where Rika had already poured out her breakfast.

'How was your night in the house?' Rika asked her mom and dad. She truly had no clue. The couple just looked at each other and grinned in an "I know something you don't" Kind of way.

'Satisfying.' The both said and Rika just accepted the answer and carried on.

'What are your plans for the day?' Rika (M) asked.

'Well I've got to get a job first of all.' Dark answered.

'What? On the weekend? Come on dad! Why would you stoop so low?'

'Because, dear daughter, we need to keeps the money rolling in.'

'But we've already got lots of money left over from the operations we had and from buying the house!'

'I know but it will eventually run out. Plus a lot of that's your college fund.'

'Really? Where are you sending me then?'

'Wherever you want. There's enough there.'

'Wow.'

'Yep. So since I pay the bills I've got to make the money to do that. Right?'

'-Sigh- Fine.'

'Have I proven my point?'

'Sigh- Yes.'

'Thank you. Now pass me the paper and I'll look now.'

-10 mins later-

'No Dark. You are not going to be a porn-star.' Rika Harada scowled as she read over Dark's shoulder at the circled job advert.

'What. There's good pay.'

'Ok. How much.'

'155 dollars a night.'

'No way!'

'-Sigh- fine. I'll keep looking.'

-Few mins later-

'Hey! Here's something!'

'What is it?' Rika (H) asked.

'An ad for helpers at an auto-mail shop. No training needed. Training provided.'

'How much?'

'1000 dollars a week'

'Wow! Go for it!'

'I'll call now.'

Dark ran to the phones as if his life depended on it. With the paper in his hand, he dialled the number and waited.

'_Yes? Hello?' _The voice asked.

'Hi. I'm here to talk about the ad.'

'_Oh. You want a job?'_

'Duh. That's why I called.'

'_Ok. Let me ask.' _The person on the other end popped down the phone at the side of the machine and ran off. The voice could still be heard on the other end.

'_Hey! Someone called about the ad! What should I say?'_

There was another voice.

'_Just say, "Sure, come along on Monday and we'll see what you're like."'_

'Fine sees you then.' Dark blared loudly so that the two voices on the other side could hear him. He hung up the phone.

'I got the job!' Dark cheered.

'Wow! That's brilliant!' Rika cheered.

Dark and Rika (H) hugged. Dark lifted her up off her feet. Lifting her easily on to his hips they kissed passionately.

Rika (M) walked in.

'EEEEEEWWWWWWW!! Please not in here! What happened?'

Dark and Rika parted from their kissing.

'I got a job!'

'Where?'

'At an auto-mail shop! I'm going there on Monday!'

'Great!'

Rika got off Dark and they bent down together in a family hug.

Author's note: How was that? I told you wouldn't hear the last of Edward and Winry. If you didn't already know. Rika (M) is Rika Mousy the 14 year old and Rika (H) is Rika Harada the lover of Dark at 16 year old (weird). Rika (H) is the mother of Rika (M).

Hope you enjoyed it. Now on with Chapter 10!

Daisukebebop


	10. I love Mondays

Author's note: How have you been

Author's note: How have you been? I'm on to the next chapter so hold onto your hats! I'm also rating this chapter an M for content so if you don't want to read it then skip along to the bottom. You've been warned.

Daisukebebop

That Monday was cloudy and the rain was falling heavily. Dark, not owning a car, had to run to the auto-mail shop.

'Crap! Crap! Crap! I hate rain!' Dark held his hood over his hair tightly. As he ran past a broken gate, the right sleeve of his coat snagged and ripped off entirely.

'Damn! I knew I shouldn't have got this damn coat at Oxfam.' Seeing how badly the coat had ripped he swore under his breath.

'Oh great! I'm going to rust!' He swore after realising his auto-mail was getting wet.

Dark ran further down the road until finally he came to a house and stood under a shelter to catch his breath.

-Meanwhile-

Edward watched out of the window in great interest since he was waiting for the new employee. The employee sounded male but awfully familiar. As he stared out over the road, he saw him. Tall, skinny, wearing a black coat and leather trousers. He couldn't get a glance of his face for it was covered by a hood.

As he watched the man turn around he took a look at his back side.

"Wow! Nice ass!" He thought.

'Hey Winry! Look at him! This must be the new guy!'

'Oh good. He's here.' The guy outside moved around to show a metal arm.

'Look! Auto-mail!' Cried Edward in excitement.

'Oh. You're right. He must have been one of OUR patients.'

'Oh? I don't remember him.' Edward tried to look back through his vast memory but nothing prevailed.

'Are you sure?'

The door bell rang.

'Hello. Come in.' Winry opened the door and the man rushed in, forgetting to wipe his feet.

'You must be the guy who phoned about the ad.' She greeted him with a hand shake and he gave her his right hand to shake. He then took off his hood and there stood, Dark Mousy. Edward's dreams were coming true.

'Nice to see you again.' Dark grinned cheerfully. 'So when do I start training?'

'Now if you like. We're going to be teaching you mechanics, wiring, the nervous system, and the works. It shouldn't take too long but I have a feeling you'll understand it all.

Dark was dead-panned. He didn't know that training would actually consist of LEARNING something!

'Edward. You can help if you want.' Winry asked.

'Um sure. I'm going to need it.'

'Great! Let's get started!' Edward cheered. He couldn't wait to learn unlike Dark who couldn't wait to get out of there. So Edward readied himself to help Dark.

'Ok. Take a seat.'

'The three of them sat at the table and Winry pulled out diagrams, writings and other convenient materials such as wires, auto-mail charts…

'Ok Dark. The black and the red wires are used for the same purposes. The wiring connects to the nerves of the human. This gives the limb movement from your brain as normal…'

-1 hour-

'And that's basically it.'

'Really? It's that simple? Ed did you -.' Dark looked to find a sleeping Edward.

'Huh, what?' Edward snorted awake.

'Some help you were.' Dark poked playfully.

'Not my fault I can't pay attention.' Edward normally could. Especially when it came to Alchemy but when it came to Mechanics he found it a total bore. After hearing Winry talking about the subject too many times he had basically lost interest.

'Right Dark. When you feel confident you can have a go at building a leg.'

'Really?'

'Sure.'

'Ok.'

Dark pulled on an apron and a pair of gloves. Dark set off to work. He was connecting wire after wire, metal after metal screw after screw to get to his result.

'How are you going?' Winry asked.

'Not bad but I need more stuff though.'

'Sure. There's a box of stuff over there.' Winry pointed to a cardboard box.

'Thanks.'

As Dark ran towards it, his socks slipped on the wood flooring. His ankle got caught on the box causing him to fall on to Edward who was unfortunately (not to Edward though) in the way. But as their heads met the ground, their lips met each other's and they simply lay there. Lips together.

Dark tried to remove himself from Edward but his arms had already wrapped around Dark's neck, pulling him closer in to the kiss. Winry stood there helplessly but still Edward tool no notice of the spectators. Dark's face was screwed up in a need to break free but he knew he couldn't so he had to surrender.

Suddenly, a figure walked through the door. He wore a blue uniform, had shaggy black hair and a black eye patch covering over his left eye. He had noticed the person under Dark as Edward but had not recognized the "seme" stranger.

'Ahem.' Edward quickly got himself up from underneath Dark after recognizing who the cough belonged to.

'You know. If you're busy I can come back later.'

'Oh, er, no. I'm not.' Edward struggled. Dark was still on the floor, breathless. He couldn't believe this was happening. Did Edward REALLY give him this effect? And he shouldn't be kissing him in the first place. It's Rika he loves, not Edward. But Edward loved him. He could sense it.

'Is he ok?' Roy interrupted Dark's thoughts like a blade going through cheese.

'Er. Yeah. Of course.'

'What brings you here Mustang?' Edward asked scornfully.

'Can't an old friend drop in on a fellow alchemist?'

'I might give SOME the exception but I'd rather YOU left me alone.' Edward shot back.

'Who's this anyway?' Roy nodded towards Dark.

'Oh. This is Dark. He's a newbies.' Winry said politely. Dark just gave a small wave.

'Dark? Isn't he the phantom thief in this town?'

'Phantom thief?' Edward was confused. It was the first time he had heard anything like this.

'Yes. That's me.' Dark scowled.

'So how old are you really?' I always here that you look 17.' Roy continued.

'401. Why? Is it any of your business anyway?'

'Oh. Not really. But shouldn't you be inside a Niwa? Not in broad daylight?'

'I gave that up a year ago.'

'Along with thieving?'

'Yes.'

'And why would that be?'

'… Family reasons.' Dark muttered.

'Family? And who might that be? Your mother and father? Surely not! They died along with you? Hanging I heard. Was because you didn't know…how to sink?' Roy worded with a delicate sneer.

Dark made a move to attack him but Edward held him back.

'Don't. He's not worth it.' Ed warned.

'Smart choice.' Roy smirked. 'I guess I've caused enough trouble. I'll be going.'

Roy walked out in to the rain and down the road.

'What did you mean by family reasons?' Edward asked curiously.

'… It's nothing. I'll explain.'

Dark walked silently back to worktop and cried silently in his hands.

As the day wore on, Edward still plotted to kiss him again. To Ed, the taste was addictive. He needed more. More of Dark's lips. But no matter how he tried, the plots weren't working. Dark had learnt to be less clumsy. He couldn't kiss Edward again. Dark had to stay faithful to his girlfriend and daughter for theirs sakes.

'Dark. You're working night shift tonight.' Winry instructed.

'What? Why?'

'I think you're really good at this and we need a hand for tomorrow. Phone your family and friends to tell them the news if you want.'

'-Sigh- Ok.'

Dark ran to the phone to tell Rika.

That night, he worked for hours into the night and was upstairs into the spare room by 2 am. As soon as his head touched the pillow he fell asleep.

That morning, dark was asleep on his back. Content and deep in slumber. Edward crept into the room and slowly crept under the quilts. Carefully, rubbing his hands up Darks thighs, he slowly pulled down the boxers in the downward motion. Edward took hold of it and sucked on it slowly.

Dark's P.O.V

I can't believe this. Oh my GOSH this feels good! The tongue working its wonders.

I jerked awake silently to find the feeling not at all a dream. I opened my eyes slowly to find something or someone underneath the covers. I tried to look down but I was immobilized by the pleasure. My legs were weak and wobbly and oh how I wanted to push my hips further into whoever was doing that.

I found it increasingly hard to suppress a moan from coming out of my throat.

Oh on! Now? I think… I'm goanna… I released what I had in the climax and I felt compelled to check and finally look upon my "attacker" if you want to call it that. And there he was. Edward Elric. Doing me like a lollipop! I just watched wide eyed in shock. But why?

That's when Edward REALLY wanted it. With a kind of fury in his eyes, he crawled up on to me. Straddling my thighs with his legs. Before I could push him off, his lips reached mine and we were kissing again. This time, his tongue was entering my mouth with intention. Not giving me a chance to beckon it away. Then with his knees, he parted my legs and off went my boxers… and his! I can't go on. This is too far. I pushed him away from the kiss.

'Why?' I whispered.

'Because I love you.' Ed whispered back.

I couldn't stop him this time. He had now thrusted himself into me and there was nothing I could do. The pain was horrible and my eyes watered from it. He kept going in, out, in out. It felt so good and yet so wrong. I shouldn't be doing this.

I tried to push Edward off again but he was too strong. Then the doorbell rang. My body froze. It can't be, can it?

I heard Winry answer the door but still Edward didn't care.

'Yes?' Winry asked.

'I'm here to pick up-.' There's was another female voice and it was being lead up stairs. Edward was moving faster now. Hoping to finish what he started.

Now, she was on the top floor! Edward moved faster still, kissing my neck. Then, the door opened, and there stood Rika Harada. I screamed from the shock of being found out and I pushed Edward off the bed.

'What the-.' She started. She couldn't believe her eyes.

'It's not what it looks like.' I screamed.

'Oh I think it's definitely what it looks like.' Tears were running down her delicate face.

'Edward. Get dressed and sit downstairs. Dark… do the same. I'm very disappointed in you.' Her cold voice struck me down. I've never heard her like this before. Not to me anyway.

NO P.O.V

-Downstairs-

Old lady Pinoko, Winry, Edward, Rika and Dark were sat around the table. Everything was quiet until Rika started, 'Ok dark. Why. Why did you do this?'

'I didn't do it on purpose. Edward just came in and did it.' Dark tried to shift the blame away from him but somehow Dark still had some of the heat of fault.

'So you didn't even ask him?' Winry pointed her question at Edward who sighed and shook his head.

'Why then Edward, did you do this against his will?' Winry asked again.

'I – I guess I was… so out of control.'

'Didn't you try to stop him?' Rika asked Dark coldly.

'I did but Edward wouldn't get off.' Dark sighed.

'Well, you didn't show signs of struggling so tell me Dark. Is there something I should know about?'

'-Sigh- Ok. I'm bisexual and a masochist.'

Winry, Pinoko and Edward didn't show signs of shock but Rika did.

'Do you three already know about this?' Rika asked suspiciously. They nodded solemnly.

'So you'd rather tell them then me?' She was rather annoyed now.

'It was in the operating room. I was under a lot of pain and I…' Dark didn't go on but Rika had already guessed the next words in her head.

'So when your lips tasted different after the auto-mail. Was that Ed too?'

Dark nodded.

'Dark? Do you love me anymore?'

Dark looked away from Rika. Not knowing what to say.

'I-I do but maybe… I love Ed as well!'

This response came as a shock to Edward.

Now Rika was angry.

'Well here's something YOU should know. I'm pregnant. And you're the father.'

'W-what?' dark felt like his ears were drunk. 'Did you just say you were pregnant?'

'Yes. And I love you so gods damn much that I'm not going to get an abortion! –Sigh- I'm wasting my time. I'd better get home.'

Dark stood up to join her.

'No Dark. I'm going alone. You're not coming back. You obviously LOVE it here so I'd better not get in the way of you and Edward. We're through.'

She walked out of the door and slammed it behind her. Outside, dark could hear wail horribly with sadness. Dark ran upstairs into his room, slammed that door and he too joined in with the crying. Wailing harder than Rika.

Author's note: Hope you like this one. Again it's M rate so just so you know. Hope I didn't scare you too bad.

Daisukebebop


	11. Where's daddy?

The crime

Author's note: Sorry if the last chapter wasn't to your tastes which is why I warned you at the beginning of that chapter of its M rated ness. Please don't send flames at me! This is now the second to last chapter so hope you loving this one!

Rika Mousy walked the door happy from school that day. She usually did enjoy school so it was considered that what ever happened AFTER school that made day. It helped her consider whether it was a good or bad day. She was about to find out now the evidence of a good or bad day… now.

Rika Harada, her mom, was on the sofa drinking coffee. Tears were streaming down her cheeks.

'Mum? Are you ok?'

'Oh… yeah.' She said falsely.

'Where's dad? Shouldn't he be home now?'

'He's not coming home.'

'Huh? Why?'

'Because Dark prefers steel on steel.'

'Oh. You mean Edward.' Rika was quiet. "How could dad do something like that?"

'So you're not going to see him again?'

'Not for as long as I live.' The speech would have normally sounded so childish but Rika really meant it with a fierce seriousness.

'But he's the reason you DO live!' Rika (M) shot back.

'Me? Live? I was pulled out of heaven! I was in eternal peace and Dark pulled me away from it! He shouldn't have bothered. Then he could've kept his bloody arm and leg.'

'What about me? I lost a hand. Don't you care about that?'

'Of course I do! It was HIS fault you lost it!'

'But I've forgiven him. He did it for me. So that I could see my mum smile again.'

(A/N: I know that sounded A LOT like Fullmetal Alchemist. That was the reason why Edward and Alphonse tried human transmutation. Edward lost his arm and leg for it and Alphonse lost his whole body and some of his memory. LOL)

There was a long breath of silence.

'Can I still see him? He IS my dad after all.'

'No. I forbid you.'

'Why?'

'He'll only make your life worse!'

'No he won't!' She argued back. 'Ever since he came to that orphanage my life has been better! I found out I had a mum and dad and I couldn't be happier!' Rika ran to her room.

-Meanwhile, Upstairs-

Rika was on her balcony. She had to get to Dark. But how? Her mum had forbid her and surely her mum would be watching the door carefully after her warning.

"I need to get in the air." She thought.

That's when it hit her. With!

"With answers to my father's calls so what about his daughter's?"

'With!' The bunny popped into existence on the balcony.

'With! Take me to Dark!' The rabbit transformed into wings and attached itself onto Rika's back. The wings lifted her into the air and they flew over the town. It was scary at first but like dark, she wasn't afraid of heights. Following the road out of town, she found a small house.

"That must be it!"

Come on With. Land me down here. With landed her slowly on the road outside the house and she ran to the door. She rang the bell and waited.

Winry answered the door.

'Dark? Why are you shorter and wearing a skirt?'

'I'm not dark! I'm his daughter Rika!'

'Oh. I see! What do you want?'

'Can I see my father?'

'Oh. He's upstairs. I'll fetch him for you.'

'Dark!' She shouted. 'You've got a visitor!'

'Ok ok.' Dark ran downstairs but strangely to Rika his was face also streaming with tears. He stopped dead when he saw Rika.

'Oh. Hi Rika.'

'Mum told me about the break-up. How is Edward involved?'

'Well… Let's just say that it's M rated.' He smiled sadly.

'Oh. I see… Please come home.'

'I can't. She won't allow it. She hates me for what I've done. Plus she's pregnant.'

'She's what?' Rika was astounded.'

'You don't know?'

'Know what?'

'She hasn't told you?'

'She hasn't told me what?'

'She hasn't mentioned it?'

'Dad! What hasn't she mentioned?'

'Ok. Sorry. She's pregnant with another child and I'm the father.'

'Wow! Another brother or sister!'

'I know. It's spooky. And I thought one was enough.'

'Dad. With you around one is never enough.'

'And what's that supposed to mean?' Even though Dark already knew what she meant.

'Nothing! Nothing!'

'Ok. But don't tell Rika I told you about her being pregnant. She hasn't told you yet so she might have not wanted you knowing. Don't drop hints.'

'Ok. Ok.'

'You promise? Thief's honour?'

'-Sigh- Yes.' They gave each other a two-finger salute.

'How'd you get here?'

'With.'

'Oh! He answers you too?'

'I know. Flying is pretty scary so I won't do it often.'

'Oh ok. How is Rika anyway?'

'Not good. She's been saying how you pulled her out of heaven and eternal peace and now you ruined our lives.'

'Ouch! That bad?'

'You've got to get back with her! She was happy with you and now she's so depressed as an emo on Monday who's ran out of ideas for poetry!'

'I honestly do but the best thing I can d now is give her some space.'

'Give her space? Dark! You're a coward! You're worth less than the soil you walk on! You're a slimy weasly weasel coward!'

Rika was ready to march off.

'Please Rika! Don't go!' Dark cried.

'Mom's right! You DID ruin our lives. So unless you're ready to get back together with her then stay away.

Rika flew off with With on her back carrying her. She didn't even say goodbye. Dark just watched hopelessly as his daughter flew from his sight.

Author's note: Hope you liked that. More emo than I first thought. Oh well. I may have to expand the last chapter into more than one chapter if possible. Ok? Oh well.

Daisukebebop


	12. Much ado about nothing

Author's note: I was doing Shakespeare at the time that this was written on paper which is why you might notice the storyline if you've studied much ado about nothing

Author's note: I was doing Shakespeare at the time that this was written on paper which is why you might notice the storyline if you've studied much ado about nothing. This one will be shortened into smaller chapters for ease of me and you. Again enjoy it.

Daisukebebop

It was a week now since his break-up with Harada. He had had no phone calls and not matter how much Edward pleaded for "attention" Dark rejected him. That day though, there was a visitor for him at the gate of the house. Daisuke ad Riku.

Dark ran eagerly out of the door to welcome them with arms open wide. But as Daisuke ran towards dark, Riku got there first and she had managed to drop kick Dark half a mile away.

'Wow Riku! I never knew you could do that!' Daisuke congratulated.

'Meh.' She shrugged. 'Someone had to do it and after breaking up with my grandmother like that he deserved it.'

Then, a small boy ran out of the door. It was no one they had met before of course. He had long blonde hair tied into a braid and he wore mostly black except for a long red jacket with a hood on it.

'Hey. Have you seen Dark?'

Riku pointed to the direction where she had just kicked him.

'Come back sweetie uckums!' Edward cried. And ran down the road towards Dark's direction. Just minute's later, Dark came back dripping with water with thorns tangled in his hair and his clothes were torn.

'Thanks a lot! I welcome you and what do you do? Kick me half a frickin' mile away! I had to run through bushes, briars, thorns, hedges and a river to get back here!'

'There was a road just two minutes to your right. Daisuke pointed out.

'… That's not the point.'

'Who was that blonde boy?' Daisuke asked.

'Edward Elric. The one who raped me and caused me to break up with Rika.'

'Then why do you live with him?'

'I've got no where else to go.'

'What about my place?' Daisuke offered.

'Nope. To crowded. And I don't think Emiko would be too pleased to hear what I've done.'

'Oh.'

'Why are you here anyway?' Dark asked.

'Rika (M) told us all about it so me and Riku came to visit you.'

'Oh how sweet! You actually wanted to visit me Riku!'

'No I didn't! Daisuke talked me into it!'

'He must be VERY persuasive. What are you getting in return?'

Riku's face went bright red and she remained silent. Dark just laughed.

'How are you planning on getting her back?' Riku asked in suspicion.

'Not a clue.'

'Oh Dark you're hopeless! Why don't you just play dead! It's all your good at!'

A light bulb switched on in Dark's head.

'That's it!' Dark's face was lit up like a Christmas tree.

'What's it?' Daisuke asked.

Dark bent low and whispered something into Daisuke and Riku ears. Their faces lit up with the thought of such a plan that they were hearing. They faces were lit up in smiles.

'Wow!' Daisuke awed.

'That sounds familiar.' Riku said less ecstatically.

'How?' Daisuke asked.

'It's from much ado about nothing. The Shakespeare play?'

'Oh!' Daisuke said in realisation. 'But how are you going to get Edward to do THAT to you? He thinks the world shines out of your ass!'

'He's short-tempered. SHORT being the operative word.' Dark answered.

'Oh.'

'We'd better get going.' Riku hurried.

'Ok. I'll tell the plan to Rika (M).' Dark said his goodbyes and ran into the house to ring his daughter about the plan.

Author's note: What is this amazing plan I hear you cry? You will find out in the chapters to come. The only clue I'm giving is that the plot is similar to much ado about nothing from Shakespeare. So it's thanks to that old geezer that this plot could be possible or possibly my English teacher who gave me the idea by telling me about th story but either way is fine. See you next time!

Daisukebebop


	13. Dead and gone

The crime

Author's note: Let's find out what happens next shall we? Will Dark's plan come together? And what IS the plan anyway? I hope you haven't forgotten the clue! Here it is!

Daisukebebop

-Hours later after chapter 12-

Edward was tired and bad-tempered after searching for Dark. He stomped into dark room to find him reading on a beanbag.

'Where have you been?' He remarked between his teeth.

'Oh. Here the whole time.' Dark answered with his face in the book.

'You got me worried sick!' Edward said with a tone of worry.

'Well I'm fine fat ass!' Dark remarked as he turned to Edward.

'Now you know that's a lie!' Edward shouted.

Dark got up off the beanbag.

'I know that but THIS isn't a lie shorty!' Dark stuck up his finger at him.

' I am NOT small!'

'Whatever but he short insults will be coming thick and fast shrimp!' Dark shouted.

'I AM NOT A SHRIMP!!' Edward screamed. Before he knew what he was doing, Edward clapped his hands together, turning his hand into a steel sword and he stabbed Dark through the chest. Dark stood wide-eyed, blood spilling from his mouth.

Edward couldn't believe what he had done. He was shocked.

'Thank you.' Dark whispered and with his last ounce of strength, he held onto Edward's sword and slowly walked further into the sword. The metal penetrated deeper into his flesh. As more blood spilled from his mouth, he slid off the sword and fell to the floor.

Dark lay there silently, his chest showing no signs of rising and falling or rising. Edward had killed Dark out of bad temper. Out of sadness, he ran downstairs to Winry, blurted out what he had done and even showed her the dead body. Rika was alerted about the accident and the body was carried off on a stretcher for investigation, Edward going with the corpse in the ambulance.

Author's note: I know this is short but as I said I was doing this for "shortness".

Dark enters the scene 'Thanks a lot for killing me Daisukebebop! Now all I can do is talk to the light for ages and I can hardly bear ten minutes! Jeez that dude is so repetitive! Every time I try to start a conversation all it says is "Come to the light". It does my head in…' Whatever Dark. Thanks for reading!

Daisukebebop


	14. Autopsy

The crime

Author's note: Updating like crazy. This is the next chapter. As you know Dark is STILL talking to the light and I'll tell you it's driving him insane! Oh the things we do for love.

Daisukebebop

-At Rika's house-

'He's dead?' Rika (H) tried to fight back a tear but she had to surrender to the feeling of despair. 'Thanks for telling me. Thank you. Good bye.' Rika Harada whispered through the phone as she put it down mournfully.

'What's up mum?' Rika asked.

'It's Dark… He's been killed.' Rika (H) broke out into tears and the other Rika cried along with her.

'C-can we have a funeral for him?' Rika (M) murmured.

'Huh?' She whispered through tears.

'You know. Like a nighttime one. I sure he would like that.'

'Oh. Yes. Of course.' Rika murmured and they hugged in approval.

-At the hospital-

The doctors were stood around Dark's dead body waiting to cut it open for investigation. Dark's body had been laid on an operating table, naked. The lower half of his body covered discreetly by a cloth.

'What's the name of this corpse? The head surgeon asked.

'Dark Mousy.' One of the doctors informed.

The doctors cried with laughter at hearing the name.

'That's a good one.' Edward chuckled along with them.

'What are you doing here?' A doctor shouted in surprise after finding a blond-haired boy observing from a back corner.

'I'm an auto-mail surgeon, state alchemist AND friend of the corpse's friend. I have a right to be here.'

'-Sigh- Fine you can stay but wear a mouth guard at least.' The doctor handed Edward a mouth guard, which he placed over his mouth.

'I'm guessing you was the one who fitted Dark with the auto-mail then.'

'Yep. That's some GOOD QUALITY auto-mail. I have the same.' Edward took off his jacket to show them a metal limb.

'I see.'

The doctors investigated further into the heart wound.

'Look at that. It looks like the heart and left lung have shredded completely. It must have been wide knife to do that sort of damage. If only we could see the murder weapon but it wasn't in the room when we collected the body.' The doctor speculated.

'That's because I have it.' Edward clapped his hands and the sword materialised from the source of the arm.

'You killed him?' The doctor stood wide-eyed at the so-called murderer of Dark.

'Yes.' Edward murmured as he nodded.

The doctor grabbed a hold of Edward's auto-mail arm and unslotted it from its socket. Edward screamed out in pain.

'OOOOOOOWWWWWWW!! THAT'S MY FUCKIN' ARM YOU BASTARDS!!'

The head surgeon placed the sword carefully into the angle at which the weapon had first entered the flesh.

'Yep. Perfect fit. If you could tell us why you killed him then we can hand you in to the police.'

'Well, I stabbed him out of bad tempered after he kept calling me short-.'

'That's no surprise!' One of the surgeons remarked. They all burst out laughing.

'I'M NOT SMALL!' Edward tried to calm himself down. 'Anyway, as I was saying, when I stabbed him, Dark grabbed hold of the blade and walked further into the blade.'

'Well, then this one's a suicidal. Even if you helped you don't actually count as the murderer as the death was intentional. Fine have your arm back.' The doctor threw the arm back to Edward who slotted it back into the socket. Again he screamed in pain.

'Why do you keep screaming like that? You're giving me a ear-ache.'

'The arm is actually attached to my nerves giving me full mobility of the arm.'

'How intriguing. It's a shame though. The phantom thief, at the peak of his thieving career and he has only ever been caught once in his 400 years of thievery. But yet, a short alchemist killed him. It seems ironic. Makes you think.'

'He's 401 actually.' Edward corrected.

'Really? But 400 sounds like a more round, even number.'

'I always hear people saying he's 17 years old.' Edward included.

'Well he's 17 years old physically but he's 400 years old on the count of being an entity.'

'An entity?' Edward had heard this nugget of information.

'Well, how he's survived is by being in the Niwa DNA…' "So that's what Roy meant when he asked Dark if he should be inside a Niwa and not in broad daylight." Edward remembered. 'Well their other half. When he got separated from the LAST Niwa, Daisuke Niwa. He must have still retained his immortality. So he can die but come back to life all healed up. But I guess even HE has his limits.'

'Wow. I never knew all that. He must be like some kind of Captain Jack.'

'Captain Jack?'

'Torchwood.'

'Oh. Yes. Very much the same. Well, our work here is done. When we get a call from his kin they can have the body to do as they wish or see fit.'

'Oh. Do I count?' Edward asked earnestly.

'I'm afraid not. You're his friend not family. I'm afraid you couldn't take the body.'

'Oh. I see. Well, I'll be going then. Thanks anyway.'

Edward walked slowly out of the room.

'How did you know all that about Dark?' an assistant asked.

'Wikipedia. It has a whole section on him. Next to some instructions on how to change a light bulb.'

(A/N: Get it? His name is Dark. LOL. I thought it was funny.)

The phone in the room rang.

'Hello? Yes. This is the surgeon for Dark. Someone's here to claim the body? Ask if they want to see the body… They do? Ok. Send them through.' The doctor hung up the phone and he strolled out of the room to meet the people who had come to visit the lost.

Two girls could now be seen walking down the dark lonely corridor. One looked older with brown flowing hair. She looked 16 or 17 in appearance. The other girl had purple hair, short at the back with long strands at the front. She held a delicate resemblance to the phantom thief himself.

'Are you here to see the body?' The doctor asked.

'Yes.' Murmured the older girl.

'May I ask how you are related to him?'

'I'm his ex-girlfriend and the mother of his child.' The older girl explained.

'And I'm his daughter.' The younger one murmured.

'Yes. Come through here then please.' The doctor lead them through and on seeing the dead body, the older girl started crying hysterically and she crouched down at the body's side. She hugged at Dark's head and placed kisses down his head and neck before crying with her face in his hair. The younger girl cried but not as much as her mum.

'If you wish to give the body into the funeral services then we can arrange it for you.'

'Thank you.' The older girl stifled through tears.

'Wh-who killed him?' The daughter asked.

'Oh. This small boy. He didn't say what his name was but he had an auto-mail arm.'

'Edward.' The older one spat hatefully.

'Oh. You know him?'

'He's the reason Dark and I broke-up. Dark had an affair with him. I walked in on them by mistake.'

'OH. I guess that's what he meant when he said he was Dark's friend. But we let him go after he explained that Dark walked into his blade after Edward stabbed him. We decided that the death was on the count of Dark being suicidal.'

'Suicidal?' The older asked in confusion. 'I bet it was my fault. I broke up with him. But he also told me was a masochist. Would that have anything to do with it?'

'He might have killed himself for the pleasure of it but it seems highly irregular.' The doctor explained.

'We'll be going then.' The brown haired girl sniffled and the two girls exited the room slowly.

Author's note: Again we stop for the next chapter. The reason I didn't name the two girls in this chapter was because the doctor didn't know their names. That's my reason. If he don't know then you don't know. LOL. Anyways, sorry if that was a bit depressing. Thanks for reading. If you did.

Daisukebebop


	15. Crybaby and the funeral torch

The crime

Author's note: I've been real busy with this and I want to get it finished so that I can continue with another fan fiction but I'm not getting any reviews.  When the going gets tough, the tough sleep on it! LOL Hope you still enjoy.

Daisukebebop

-At the funeral-

That night, Dark's coffin had been taken in a Hearse with others for the guests going behind it. The place of burial was a graveyard sleekly named Peaceful garden. This place was especially chosen because here also lied the bodies of Dark's parents who had died along with Dark after the three of them were accused of witchcraft. Rika felt it was best for him to be buried next to his parents. Torches that were placed on long sticks in the ground lighted up the place. Rows of cheap chairs were set up in front of the gravestone especially dug up for him. Invited were the Niwa family, the Harada family and also a row of policeman who were in charge of Dark counter measures. This included Satoshi Hiwatari (unfortunately for Dark who had sworn once that if he died then Satoshi would never be invited this message didn't get through to Rika (H)).

Rika had decided not to bother inviting Edward along to the funeral. It was, after all, highly unorthodox for someone to invite the corpse's murderer to their funeral but there were other reasons behind it.

These were:

It would be too emotionally stressful for Edward

He got too guilty and decided to kill himself and

She just didn't like him.

The priest stood up to his podium next to the grave and began his ceremonious speech. 'We are here tonight to witness the passing of Dark into the next life. Sure EVERYONE may not have loved him but he has sure made his presence known ever since he was born 401 years ago. From the witch hanging to when he became a Phantom thief he has touched our hearts in many different ways. I would now like to invite his last other half, Daisuke Niwa, to say a few words.'

Emiko nudged Daisuke gently in encouragement to give Dark a last farewell speech. He stood up at the podium. 'Well. I didn't expect to be saying something so I'll try and keep it small. When Dark first became my other half about a year ago, I was surprised, shocked and I thought my life would be ruined from then on. But as we went through the good times, and the bad times, he was always there to help me to the very end. And if it weren't for him, I would have never realised who my true love was. Thank you.' Daisuke sat back down at his seat, tears running down his cheeks at an alarming rate. But at least on this occasion it was normal.

The priest stood up to his podium again.

'Thank you Daisuke for those kind words. Now, we shall lower Dark into his grave.' The coffin was lowered slowly and serenely into its six feet hole. The priest stepped down from his podium and picked a handful of dirt from the pile at the side of the grave.

'From ashes to ashes. Dust to dust.' He said as he scattered the dirt on the coffin. The rest of the dirt was dug over the coffin. The policemen stood up to salute him off and the service was over.

Author's note: I thought that went over quite well don't you? Very nicely done. Well, Dark is dead, Daisuke still manages to say something which will result him in crying. He's such a crybaby and we love him for it.

"Come on light! Say something new!" Shut up Dark. You know it will never happen. Now Dark is acting like a crybaby and we don't love HIM for it. Oh well. That's the way the world goes round. Thanks again.

Daisukebebop


	16. Dealing with death

The crime

Author's note: No school today so I have some free time to do this. We're almost finished so don't you worry your little heads. Thanks for sticking to this fan fiction. Though I must say I'm not getting many reviews so please R & R.

Daisukebebop

All through the week from the funeral, the house was like a minefield. If you weren't careful or said anything out of place then you would surely start a sea of tears. The tap was Rika Harada. Sometimes it was best not to say anything at all.

If you said something like, 'Mum, what do you want for breakfast?' There would always be a reply, which went something like; 'Dark always liked bacon and eggs' or 'Dark always made breakfast in bed on the weekends.' It was just those little minor things that to make the lost loved one matter. And if Rika wasn't crying from something you said she'd be crying in her room from her OWN memories. The bed would be soaked with tears and at night she would cry in the darkness from the loneliness and the bed was always colder now. She was too used to the sharing of someone else's body heat whenever it came to bedtime. No one was there to hold her or love her or calm her if she had a nightmare as Dark always did.

She felt completely and utterly alone. No one was there to fill that void in her heart, her other half was gone and she felt empty inside. Although the death of Dark was Edward's fault she couldn't help but feel that it was HER who lead Dark to kill himself. She felt like doing the same as Dark, grabbing a blade and rushing it through her chest, not stopping until the darkness of death gripped her tightly with it's bony fingers.

"I mustn't think like that." She thought to herself. "I can't go. Not now." And with that she fell asleep in a drenched mess of her own tears.

Author's note: I know it's short but I felt it would be good to get a tiny chapter in of how Rika is feeling after the death of her boyfriend the great phantom thief Dark. I mean, who DOESN'T love him but like Risa said in DN Angel. 'You win. I've never loved like that.' I'm not sure at the moment which chapter it is but it's definitely after Dark and Risa break up. Possibly episode 19. Or not. Hope you liked.

Daisukebebop


	17. Mysterious Gardener with a mobile

The crime

Author's note: Hi dudes! Again I'm getting no reviews! I don't mean to whinge and I don't want flames but why? This is chapter 17. Let's see this plan unfold! Hope you like the turn out of this chapter!

Daisukebebop

-Morning-

Saturday had finally arrived. The week just seemed too long and too much to bare for Rika. Her daughter was already at the breakfast table when harada made her way down there.

'Mum? Could we visit dark's grave…today?' Rika (M) asked.

There was a long breath of silence.

'Ok. Tonight we will.' Her mother murmured and nothing else was said.

Holding a phone under the table, Rika (M) wrote a text message.

'Hrry up on out o de cffin. W cme by 2nite. Hde & dn't shw up til mum cries. If she dn't care whn u're gne thn dn't cme bck. Lev Azumano 4 gd & nvr cme bck. Gd bye. Gd lck. U dd gd tryin'. Thnk u.'

She sent the text message knowing that whoever the text was meant for she may never be seen again by her. Tears trickled down her cheeks.

"Good bye." Her mind echoed.

-That night-

The air was cold and clammy. The night was foggy and unclear. Both Rika's walked on the dewy grass of the Peaceful garden cemetery with Peace lily clutched in their hands. As they walked between the gravestones they looked carefully for the wanted grave.

-Hours earlier. At the time of text-

The mobile vibrated noisily in his pocket. At that time the corpse laid peacefully until suddenly, it gasped alive, hitting its head on the coffin door.

'Dammit!' He cursed. 'I hate it when that happens! Damn wooden door!'

'Ooh! Phone call!' He exclaimed after realising that his mobile was vibrating. He checked his phones and read the text from the light of the mobile.

'Ok Rika. Whatever you say!'

He switched off the phone and began trying to break the door hinges. When he snapped off the door, it fell on him and crushed him. Bringing dirt down in his face.

-10 minutes later-

As he sprang back to life, he joked, 'They weren't kidding when they said 6 feet under.' He began digging his way to the surface once he had managed to get on top of the coffin door.

After hours of escaping the muddy trap (He kept dying from lack of oxygen) he finally made it to the surface. After hearing footsteps coming closer, he ran for the nearest tree and hid. Ready to make an entrance. He slipped on an old hat disguise.

-Meanwhile-

'Here. Round the back.' Rika Mousy called but stopped still just before the hole.

'M-mum? The graves been dug up.' Looking carefully for reactions from her mother she found them. Blatant shock on her face.

'Someone's stolen him!' She wailed. 'How could they? Why?' Rivers of tears streamed down her face as she cried loudly.

As she wept out loud on the floor, a strange man walked out from the forest behind the graveyard. He carried with him a shovel and a wore a brown hat. He also wore a formal black suit, which was unfortunately clad with dirt.

As Rika noticed the footsteps, she looked up and slowly picked herself up off the ground.

'Gardener! Someone's stolen him! They've taken dark's body and I don't know where they've put him!'

The man spoke with a deep disguising voice but at the same time it was gentle and caring. 'I'm afraid I don't know who's stolen but I do know where he's gone.'

'Where/' She cried out in desperation. There was silence until the gardener spoke. This time his voice was different. Recognizable even.

'I hope those lilies aren't for me. They usually give those to dead guys.'

Rika looked up in confusion and the figure took off his hat. It was Dark all along.

'Dark? Is it really you?'

He unbuttoned his shirt and underneath was the bloody wound.

'Who else would kill themselves just to have you back again?'

'But why?' Rika (H) asked in confusion

'Because I love you and if, in chapter 10, you were listening to me I would have told you that Edward actually RAPED me. I would never let you go for a midget like Edward. Never.'

'Wait. How did you know when to dig yourself up?' She was on to him.

'Ok. It was a plan. It was my plan to get you back by killing myself. If you didn't miss me or didn't care that I died or been stolen then I would have high-tailed it out of town so that you still thought I was dead.'

'Who was in on it?' Rika (H) ordered.

'Rika was and so was Daisuke and Riku.' He admitted. 'Please let me do that again. I must have died over 100 times this week from the lack of air.'

'There you go Dark. Always thinking of yourself.' Rika turned her back on him stubbornly with her arms folded. Dark looked like he might as well have gone out of town anyway.

'Look mum. What he's trying to say is that he really missed you and he was even willing to die over and over just so that he could be with you again. He loves you and if you can't see that then you're a fool! I mean, so what if he's bisexual or masochistic, deep inside his feelings are only for you. Not Ed, not knives, not anyone else.' Rika (M) concluded. Deep inside Dark was grateful for his daughter helping him out because if his own girlfriend won't listen to him then she'll listen to Rika (M).

'And you must admit. You looked so upset when you saw the grave.' Rika (M) smiled.

'-Sigh- Ok. I guess I missed you a little.' Rika Harada turned back to face Dark.

'Ahem.' Mousy coughed.

'Ok. A LOT.' She admitted.

Dark and Rika hugged romantically and in a swift movement, Rika was lifted on to his hips. Rika held on to his neck as they kissed each other passionately. Dark broke off his lips from Rika.

'Come on. Let's go home.' Rika (H) smiled.

That night, the three of them walked home hand in hand. A family once more.

Author's note: And it's complete! It sure took me a while but I wanted to get it done since I was almost finished anyway. I know the ending was a bit like the bible ending when Mary Magdalene thinks that Jesus is the Gardener when she thinks that Jesus' body had been stolen. I only realised that after I'd written it but the ending was so perfect that I didn't want to change it. In the text message in the story, looks for three words (that are next to each other) that are also the name of a Fullmetal Alchemist fan fiction that I'm the author of. Translate them from text language and then search them up. Review back you're answer when you find it. It's funny. I may do a little mini-story that is about Dark's past of him BEFORE he became the great Phantom thief Dark. It's something that's been playing in my mind. Do read more of my stories and look out for other new ones that may be coming your way. Just again search up my author name. Daisukebebop. Sorry for the LONGNESS of this author's note but since this is the last chapter I have a lot to say.

Thank you so much for sticking by me all the way! Your pal and contributor of humor stories,

Daisukebebop


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